flicker of hope [ziall]

3~smashed

As we walked back into the hotel, Louis trailed behind with me.

"What were you actually laughing at?" Louis asked, swinging his arm around my shoulder.

"What? Are you calling me a liar?" I gasped obnoxiously. This isn't the first time Louis has confronted me after blatantly lying to the boys. He always knows. It's honestly a little uncanny. But at least he doesn't directly call me out infront of everyone. Louis and I are actually pretty close. At least I think. I can never really tell if people are my friends or just pretend to be, but I'd like to think Louis actually likes me, even after blaming me for cheating in Fifa earlier. He's probably my best friend. I don't know if I'm his though. Zayn is probably his best friend.

"If the soundtrack to Alivn and the Chipmunks was available on itunes, I would have known and downloaded it in a heartbeat"

"'Course you would" I chuckled. "But I actually heard you say something about me drinking too many red bulls and stuff and I laughed because you were spot on"

"'Course I was right. I know everything" Louis grinned widely and waggles his eyebrows at me. Yeah, everything except that I hate myself. But I swallowed that thought and went with something more light hearted.

"Yeah, everything except how to play Fifa"

"Oi!" Louis smacks me in the back of the head lightly. "Not all of us are naturals at Fifa. At least I can dust you on the real field"

"Hey, don't doubt my magical irish feet" I defended. Louis is right though, he can dust me on the real field, especially knowing that my knees are jello.

Louis chuckled along, "but you're good right? I mean you know I was just joking earlier about the blindfold right?" I almost choked on the air. Is he serious? Joking? Then why didn't he stop me from leaving? He probably just feels bad for me now.

"Yeah, 'course. Just left to be dramatic" I grinned. It's weird how perceptive yet oblivious Lou really is. Like he'll see through all the little meaningless lies but won't connect them to the big picture.

"Good, ya worried me when you didn't come back inside" Louis smiled and ruffled my hair. "Did you hear anything else while we were riding home in the van?"

"No, why? What were you talking about?" I asked innocently.

"Oh nothing, the boys just thought you were going crazy" Louis laughed.

"Think I was going crazy. Hope the boys didn't find me too annoying though" I obnoxiously laughed.

"Nah, you'd never annoy us" Louis smiled, but his smile is obviously forced. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes at his lie. I already know I annoy everyone, but I can't really judge him for lying to me since I'm lying to him too.

"Aw, thanks Lou. Come to my room later if you're up for that blowjob. I know you're not getting it from Harry" I blew him a kiss before departing to walk into my own hotel room.

Once I finally get into my room and collapsed onto my bed, everything starts hitting me at once. The alcohol has dramatically decreased in my system so now I'm just tispy and alone in my room with nothing but my thoughts. It really is great to know that Harry and Liam hate me now. I've had my suspicions from the start but now I've got it confirmed. I can't stop replaying their words over and over again in my head. I'm not sure if Zayn and Louis hate me though since they seemed to defend my actions. But they probably hate me too and just didn't want to say it outloud. They definitely just feel bad for me, but I don't need their fucking sympathy. I knew it probably wasn't my smartest idea to drink as much as I had on an empty stomach, but if anything, it's the boys fault since they didn't let me eat anything at Harry's room. Ah, who am I kidding, it's all my fault. It's always my fault. I'm always the fuck up of the group. But hey man, someones got to be the fuck up. I'm just taking one for the team.