Sweet Odium [BL]

chapter [8]

{Rune}

Raven's expression was unreadable when he looked at my face and I didn't like it. He might think that I was so sensitive that I'd cry over this and make some comment about my girly weakness although I didn't even know why tears were rolling down my cheeks.
At some point I suspected that it was probably because of the shock of almosy dying and the bottled up anger inside of me. I wasn't used to that and it stressed me... but I didn't want anyone to see me like this.

"I'm fine, stop staring." I slapped away Raven's hand from my shoulder and turned around to open the locker with my things in it. The tears had already stopped flowing but I still felt uncomfortable.

It didn't ameliorate things when Raven stopped me from opening the locker by pushing it close and forcing me to sit down on the bench next to him. His eyes were big and his lips slightly parted when he filled the silence with his weird stare.

"What? Leave so I can get dressed." I demanded but I was ignored.

"Why... are you crying?" He asked this so slowly it seemed like he had just learned how to speak.
I gulped nervously when I failed at comprehending what was going on with him.

"I'm not crying. It's because I got no air before." I wanted to add 'partly thanks to you' but right now that didn't seem fitting.

"But you're not scared of me now, are you?" he kept going with those weird questions and his stare intensified.

"No... I'm not scared of anyone." I said this because it was the truth but in his ears it must have sounded childish when he suddenly started laughing.

"Well then I'm relieved. But you shouldn't lie about fearing no one."

For a moment I caught myself admiring that sincere laugh of his. It sounded so clear and calm and combined with his undeniably attractive face it was almost godlike.
'What the fuck was I thinking about?!' I shouldn't admire people's outside if their inside was trash. 

"Whatever, get out so I can get dressed."

"Why? We're in a public dressing room and we're both men... I hope at least. You already saw me half naked some weeks ago, you pervert, so why do I have to leave." he raised an eyebrow and at that moment I decided to just give up for that time. I did prefer changing clothes alone but there was nothing I had to hide.

"Fine..." I groaned and grabbed my stuff before pulling up my shirt, my back facing Raven so I didn't feel exposed as much.

"Why would you want to hide a body like that?" He questioned after having stared at me without moving an inch.
I didn't turn around to him but quickly put my sweater.

"You like it?" I joked to soften the tensed mood from before a little bit but instead of answering Raven cleared his voice and went outside the dressing room. What an odd guy...
Shortly later I followed him to head for the cafeteria.

As soon as we entered Raven turned back to his usual self and glared at people that got in his way.
I wasn't sure if talking to him was the best idea right now but I also didn't want him to constantly remember what happened 10 minutes ago so I picked up a new subject. Talking so much was unusual for me...

"So... what do you recommend for eating?" I asked him when we got our trays and looked at the variety of food that was offered. We were early so luckily there weren't many people.

"Dunno, I'll get myself a burger but since you're so small a glass of milk will do better." He shrugged and proceeded to get his food. I sharply inhaled air and decided to be satisfied with at least getting an answer. So that's why he didn't answer before... because he thought I was small and weak.