Coming Home (English Version)

44. Wild River

His face turns shocked. "You think I did that on purpose? I had no idea she was going to be there!"

"Then how can she simply enter your property? Is she going to show up knocking at my door one day? Huh?" I yell. "Why are people opening doors for her?"

He snatches his headscarf off. "Probably because she shows up looking nice, saying she is a princess, which is true, and well..." He lets out a sharp exhale. "My people made a mistake, that's it!"

It is hard to keep up with the wild river of thoughts that are rushing through my mind, which are also making it impossible for me to listen to what he says. The made up images of the two of them together make my skin crawl, they look happy and laughing while right now, I feel extremely vulnerable and unfit to attract my own husband.

"Were you ever with her?" I blurt out, cutting him off.

He freezes for a moment and then brings both hands to his head. "Wh- what did she tell you?"

I take one step forward. "Just tell me, Hamdan, because--"

The feeling of a warm fluid running down my leg makes me stop everything I was doing and thinking. I quickly cradle my bump with both hands and look down on myself.

"What's wrong?" Hamdan asks.

When I look up at him to tell him, more liquid comes down. Feels like I am peeing myself but I cannot make it stop.

"I think my water just broke," I say to him.

He takes one step closer and as I look down again, I see a clear puddle forming at my feet.

"We need to call Houyem," he says.

"Where's my phone? I think I left it in your car."

"Stay here," he instructs. "I'll be right back."

Houyem is my doula. She and Helen - the midwife - have been supporting me through my pregnancy and will be the ones assisting me during the delivery of our baby. They have helped me gain so much confidence about this entire process but now that it's actually happening and I'm starting to believe that nothing could really prepare you for something like this.

I hear steps and look behind to see Krisha passing by.

"Krisha!" I call.

She changes the direction where she was going and starts approaching me. "Hi, Layla," her face changes when she notices the puddle. "Do not move! Let me get some towels, I don't want you slipping on the floor!"

I nod my head and she leaves running. Just in time, Hamdan makes it through the door and hands me my phone.

"Layla! Hi!" Houyem answers my call right away.

"Hi," I reply with a somewhat shaky voice. "I- My water just broke."

"Are you having any contractions?"

"Uh... It's been kind of a hectic day, so I'm not sure. I've been feeling some tension though."

Krisha shows up again and sets a dry towel on the floor in front of me.

"How often?" Houyem asks.

"I have no idea."

"Okay, I'm coming over to check on you," Houyem announces. "Try to keep track of your contractions until I get there, okay?"

I begin my labor journey fighting with my husband and feeling guilty about not knowing whether I have been having contractions or not. Yeah, this is not what I had envisioned.