fín (sequel to Neighbor)

chapter twenty.

LAUREN'S POV

I made it back to the hotel and decided to check on the kids first. I haven't seen them since last night and I already miss them. 

"Mommy!" Dakota screamed as I walked through the door. She ran over to me and jumped into my arms, causing me to laugh.

Leo and his mom were sitting on one of the beds. Beau had his eyes glued to the TV, so of course he was too busy to see his mom.

"Hi honey," I smiled. "How are you?"

"Good, Daddy says we're going to go the zoo today!"

I gave Leo a confused look. We're really going to the zoo? Gosh, I wish I would have known about this because you really need to prepare for these things. Taking two kids to places like that can be such a handful sometimes. 

"We are?" I said. "That sounds fun. Let's get ready."

Seems like now was really not the time to talk to Leo about how I felt about things, so we'd have to do it later. 

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The zoo was awful. Honestly. 

I mean, it's just sad to see all of the animals in there. Not to mention, I had to spend hours basically chasing two kids around. I am so tired.'

Leo's mom had taken the kids out to dinner once again. It was nice that she knew we needed time alone and time to talk.

We decided to get dinner ourselves. Leo managed to get a reservation for this nice Italian restaurant that wasn't too far from the hotel. 

I was lost in my thoughts as the waiter poured wine in the glass in front of me.

"So what would we like to eat?" He asked. 

"I'll just take the penne with vodka sauce," Leo said before looking at me. "What about you, Lauren?"

"I'll take the same thing," I sighed, handing the waiter my menu. He gave us a small smile before he walked away.

"Are you okay?" Leo asked, breaking me away from my thoughts once again. I looked up at him and shrugged.

"Just thinking I guess."

He put his elbows on the table and gave me a sad look. Do you think he's thinking about everything that happened too?

I wonder if he thinks if this is too much. The distance is too much for me. That's all I can think about these days. Sure, his job is nice and pays well, but I miss my husband. I just want him home with me and our kids. I feel like we're drifting apart.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

I looked at him again. "Honestly Leo, I don't know how much longer I can handle you working so far away. I mean, after what happened this morning. And... I don't know, just the fact that I feel so alone all the time. I don't know how much longer I can take being a parent on my own. That's what it feels like."

His eyes got wide as I finished talking. That definitely made him nervous. 

"Lauren," he panicked. "You know this job pays well. I'm doing this for us, for our kids. For our family. I miss you all the time too, but I'm working to do this so that we can live a happy life."

"I'm not happy. Not anymore."

"What?"

I shook my head. Tears were threatening to spill out of my eyes at any moment. "I feel so alone all the time. You barely call. I never see you, obviously. I am basically raising two young children alone and I'm exhausted, Leo. I feel like you're not even my husband sometimes."

He was on the verge of crying too. I felt bad, I really did. But at the end of the day, we need to be honest with each other and talk. I needed to let him know my feelings, but he never wants to talk about his. 

It was silent for a moment, like he didn't know what to say. I found myself staring at my hands in my lap as I waited for a response. I felt like I was sitting there for forever. 

"I just want you to be happy. You mean everything to me. You and the kids. I love you more than anything, Lauren. What can I do to make this better?" He finally spoke up.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I don't know what you can do at this point."

I was finally crying. I didn't want to, but damn this was so hard. We've only been at this restaurant for about fifteen minutes too. Off to a great start. I looked over at Leo once again and he was crying as well. 

"Do you want a divorce? Is that what you're asking?"

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IM BACK!

I am so sorry for not updating for over a year. A lot has been going on in my life and I've been juggling a lot of things.

But here is an update! This has honestly been in my drafts for a couple of months, but I just didn't upload it. Hopefully I will get back to writing more often, but there will still be a week or two between updates.

There are also only a few chapters left in this story sadly. This book was never meant to be that long. Thank you to everyone for the support over these last few years. I can't tell you all how much it means to me.

Hope you all are doing well, and if you have any suggestions for a new story, please let me know! I would love to hear anyone's input.