BROKEN HALVES

3: Amazing Mother-inlaw

Ammi stared at her with her eyes bulged out as though it were a saucer. She gulped down a lump in her throat, if this was what Ummi wanted, then she would never have to deny her it. She knew, if Ummi was her daughter, she would have long forced her to divorce him. She was nothing but a good wife to him but what did he do? He had taken her love for granted and had hurt her beyond repair. She smiled when she sensed that Ummi was being contemplative about her decision.

"Is this what you want, Ummi?" She slowly nodded her head at her. She had already made her decision and had silently prayed that she wouldn't live to regret her action. But she couldn't find it in her to go back to his house. She didn't care whether they were meant to be or not, but she was emotionally drained to be staying with someone like him as a husband. She wanted to leave, with her boys off course.

"But with the custody of my children, Ammi. Do yo think that's possible?" She asked, and Ammi grinned at her even though Ummi was certain she was in pain, too. She was just trying all she could to show her that she wasn't in pain and was in support of her painful decision.

"With the custody of your children, Ummi, will that even be a problem? Who else will take care of a child more than his mother will? Even if he objects, I'd make sure I stand by you until you get their custody." She heaved a sigh and felt relieved at Ammi's words. "But, Ummi, have you spoken about this with your mother?" That was where the problem was.

Maybe Ya Husna knew about the life she lived with Al-amin, hell she might have even told Mama about it but they have never had a conversation about it. And even if she knew, Ummi doubted if she would ever support her to break her home. Baba would definitely support her decision even though that will not be what he wanted, but he will. And Mama? She would fight with sweat and blood to see if things could be rectified. The fear of what the society will say will never let her see things from a different light.

She sadly shook her head, "I haven't consulted anyone about my decision but you, Ammi. We both know it won't be easy and they may likely not accept it but I'll have to do this for myself, my sanity and for the boys. It wouldn't bring out anything fruitful for them to be born in a broken home. Their might be love in our hearts, but it's never of use." She wiped at her tears and a sad smile graced her lips, she wanted all this to be over and be done with.

Ammi patted her hands lovingly, "You needn't to worry, Ummi, okay? I'll stand by you and I pray this is for the best. Stand on your ground as well, we'll talk about everything later. But now, you need to sleep, okay?" She wasn't sure if anyone had ever gotten a mother-in-law like hers, because she surely had the best of them all. She smiled at Ammi, trying so hard to show her that she was no longer crying.

"Thank you so much, Ammi." Ammi walked over to the babies crib and pecked their little fingers before she bade Ummi goodbye and left the room, directly walking to Abba's room. They needed to finalize this, and she wouldn't let Ummi be stepped upon just because of the fear of what the society will say. This was her life, and it had been damaged already as it is because she doubted if she would learn to love again.

Ummi stared ahead at the babies crib with a sad smile as she wiped at the remnants of tears that were left on her face. She didn't know if she was doing the right thing, but nevertheless, this is what she would do. Maybe not for her kids, but for herself. She had to find her worth again, her self esteem and maybe even a flicker of happiness if there was any in her life. She laid down on the bed, thinking of what she would feel if the divorce was pronounced and she became a single mother of her boys. It would be so peaceful, but nevertheless, the pain would be there.

•

It had been three days already, and despite her heart being in a turmoil of pain and what would be of her marriage, she was still happy. It felt so good saying 'Ameen' whenever someone said 'Allah ya raya su, Yan biyu kyautar Allah.' It made her feel special, because she took pride that when Allah decided to bless a womb with twin, he blessed hers with them.