Lightless Sunshine

Chapter 28

Binuhat ko siya kahit na may kabigatan na ito. “Nandito lang naman ako, ah? Hindi naman ako umalis,” masuyo kong sabi.

Sumubsob siya sa aking leeg at mahinang humikbi. “I t-thought you left us,” he sniffed.

My eyes softened. “No, of course not. Mama loves you and Avan so much to leave you two. Mama is not going to leave you, okay?”

“I t-thought… I thought you already l-left us,” humihikbing sabi niya at mas lalong hinigpitan ang yakap sa akin.

“Hush now, sweetie. Mama is here.”

“I l-love you, Mama. Please, don’t leave us.”

“I won’t, baby. I love you, too.”

It hurts me knowing na inaakala ng bata na ano mang oras ay iiwan ko sila. I couldn’t blame the kid though. Kasi noong nag-aaral pa ako, madalas ay hindi ko sila nakakasama. They’ve been staying at their grandparents’ house kapag wala ako o ang papa nila. They thought any moment, mawawala na naman ako.

They’re just five and yet… I feel like a horrible mother to them.

“Bro!”

Nabaling ang tingin ko sa isang table nang may sumigaw na batang lalaki na sa tingin ko ay nasa walong taong gulang na. Around the kid were familiar faces on the table.

I felt my chest squeezed. I never thought I would see them here. Maybe, my grandparents invited them here? It’s not impossible naman kasi same industry lang ang mga pamilya namin. The Del Cianco family was here.

Umawang ang labi ko at napatingin ulit kay Icarus. He never looked away and it startled me when I looked to his direction again. I caught him looking at me still.

Pero hindi kagaya kanina, nawala na ang ngiting nakapaskil sa kaniyang labi. The emotions I’ve seen in his eyes disappeared and was replaced with hollowness.

Buhat-buhat ang anak ko ay naglakad ako patungo sa direksyon niya kung saan naroon sina Lolo at Lola. I averted his gaze and looked at my grandparents instead.

“Grandma,” sabi ko sa mommy ni Daddy at humalik sa kaniyang pisngi.

“What happened to our little Franco?” Grandpa said sweetly.

I smiled at the couple. “He thought I was going to leave them.”

“Aww…” Grandma uttered. “Come on, little Franco. Give Lola and Lolo a hug.”

Sumisinghot na bumaba si Franco sa pagkakabuhat ko at nakangusong nagpalambing sa great-grandparents niya.

I chuckled a bit. Franco is really a baby. He’s fond with his great-grandparents than anyone. Ang kambal naman niya ay mahilig magpalamhing sa mga lolo’t lola niya.

“Ehem.”

Nakarinig ako ng isang tikhim. Napapitlag ako at nagulat dahil doon. Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib.

Napalingon ang mga matanda sa likuran ko. I’m sure as hell he was just standing behind me. I could feel his intense stare on my back. His hot breathing was kind of touching my bare back. In a moment, parang gusto kong pagsisihan kung bakit backless ang isinuot kong gown sa gabing ito.

Kumalabog nang malakas ang dibdib ko.

Take a deep breathe, Sunshine. You’re going to be fine. Take a deep breath… It’s all in the past now.

“I’ll get going, Ma’am. Happy anniversary again,” I heard him say, cold and stoic. It sent shivers down my spine in an instant.   

“Thanks, hijo,” Grandpa said.