Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 30- Are you with me?

"I love you too y/n." Erwins voice echoed throughout the room.

Marie sat staring at him from her side of the bed. She shook her head sadly. She turned and put her legs over the side of the bed and got up. She couldn't believe her ears. After everything they'd been through he was calling out to another woman in his sleep.

She pulled off her nightgown and walked across to the chair where her clothes were neatly folded from the night before. Marie silently pulled on her skirt and blouse pausing to rub the tears from her eyes.

She padded into the bathroom to get a glass of water her throat choked with hurt.  She'd had her doubts about his loyalty but she never thought he'd stoop so low as to cheat on her.

"Marie...?" Erwin was at the door to the bathroom. She lifted her eyes from the sink and running water to look at him in the mirror.

"I can't believe you..." She whispered her voice wobbling.

"What do you mean?" He chuckled walking closer and wrapping his arm around her waist. She turned towards him pushing his arm away.

"Who is she?" She demanded. She'd give him a chance to explain himself.

"Who is who?" Erwins forehead wrinkled with confusion.

"Y/n. Who is she? You called out to her in your sleep. You said you loved her." Marie's emerald eyes stared into Erwin's blue ones, tears bubbled at their waterline threatening to fall.

"I...I'm sorry... I didn't realise I was talking in my sleep...She... She was someone very dear to me." Erwin looked down unable to make eye contact with Marie.

"Was? I think it's more like is Erwin. You think I didn't see you with that note? How could you?" Marie's blood boiled inside her causing her cheeks and ears to flush red with anger. She pushed past to walk from the bathroom

"It's not what you think. I would never cheat on you. Ever." Erwin grabbed her arm to stop her from walking out.
"Just let me explain" He begged. "She lied to me and betrayed me. That why I got set up on the date with you. She broke my heart." He released Marie's arm. Erwin's eyes told a million tales. The heart ache he'd been through, and how desperatley he wanted Marie to believe him. "That letter- that piece of paper must be from months ago because I hadn't seen it before last night. I swear."

"I've heard stories about her, you know. From the townsfolk. About how happy you two looked together. How beautiful she was and how you both seemed to glow when you were walking together. All I wanted was to have that with you. I thought that was a small wish but I'm realizing that it was far too much to hope for." The green of her eyes shone with envy for this girl she'd never seen nor met.

Erwin stayed silent not knowing what to say.
"I've been thinking about about us. And now I'm certain, there's only one way for you to fix this Erwin. I have but one simple request." Erwin clasped her hand.

"What is it? I'll do whatever I can." He begged.

"Leave the military." Marie said plainly.

"What?" He dropped her hand

"Prove that you really do love me and leave the military." She repeated. "I hate having to worry about if you'll come back from missions, I want a family...at some point and I'm not about to have our children grow up without a father." She stated finally releasing all her pent up thought.

"Woah don't you think it's a bit soon to be thinking about having children Marie.... We've only been seeing each other for a couple of months... I hardly think we should even be having this conversation." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Why Erwin? If we were that devoted to each other we could have had this discussion weeks ago. But that was never your end goal was it?! You just wanted me to fix you. Well congrats because I did. But I won't do it any more so, you can go back to wallowing in self-pity over some woman who lied to you and fucked you over!" Marie yelled hot tears streaming down her cheeks. She walked across the room shoving her things into her suitcase

"WILL YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN!" Erwin raised his voice to try to get Marie to stop. When she continued he grabbed her arm forcefully.

"Marie! Please let's just talk about this!" He begged.

"Erwin Smith if you don't get your hands off of me right this second I swear I will report you to the military police." She looked him dead in the eyes and he let go of her arm.

"I'm sorry... I really did like you... I thought that I could forget about her and move on with my life. I meant every word I said to you. From that night in the park when I gave you that brooch. I meant all of it. But I just can't get her out of my head." Erwin fell to the ground on his knees his hair falling over his face out of it's usual style.

Marie paused taking a deep breath.
"I'm sorry I yelled. I... Didn't mean what I said I just...It's clear to me that she still means a lot to you. Considering the things you said in your sleep and the way you read that note....you should find her. Because if I was her, I'd want you back too." Her voice was full of sadness. "But I'll never be able to be her, Erwin. No-one can. Thanks for everything. You're still welcome at the bar anytime." She picked up her bag.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get over her... I'm just too weak." He kept his head looking at the floor. Marie walked over and crouched down lifting his head with her hand gently

"Don't be sorry. We had a lot of fun. But we both know this isn't what we really want. Right?" Erwin nodded slightly.
Marie kissed his cheek delicately before standing up and leaving his room and walking out of HQ.

Erwin remained on the floor his head a mass of thoughts and his heart in tatters once again. His right shoulder ached and he winced as phantom pain shot through it.
"...you should find her. Because if I was her, I'd want you back too." Marie's words rang in his ears.

How would he even go about finding her? Did she really want to be with him still? Was she even still around?

He didn't have the answers to any of these questions. All he knew is that if that horrific conversation with Marie and his dreams had taught him anything it was that he still loved y/n and he wanted more than anything to see her again.