Take A Deep Breath

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I lay in bed, having been staring at the darkness of the ceiling for what feels like the past three hours, and sigh. Another sleepless night.

Rolling over onto my side I try to close my eyes and pretend that I'm already asleep, but my thoughts are racing and I can't drown them out. They go over everything that happened that day, the way my boss jumped down my throat for standing around when in reality I was just getting down with cleaning my area for the next customer. I should have explained that to her, but instead I shrunk away from her and started rearranging things around my station until another customer walked over.

Eventually sleep finally came and went.

.....

I turned over and looked at the alarm clock on the night stand and groaned. It was almost lunch time. Good thing I was off today. Rolling on my back I felt the weight of my body as I tried to move, but that didn't go far. I yawned, feeling exhausted from over sleeping, and finally forced my body into motion.

Climbing out of bed, my bare feet felt freezing clod against the lanolin flooring as I wrapped a robe around myself and trudged into the kitchen. It took a few minutes before the coffee was brewing into my cup, the smell of dark bitter liquid filling the house and my senses.

Taking my cup of coffee, I walked to my living room and slipped onto the sofa where I left my phone charging. I noticed a voicemail and groaned. The only people that called me was my work and my doctor's. I didn't have any friends outside of work, and I only had one friend at work. An older woman named Julie who had taken me under her wing when I had started.

The voicemail was from work asking me to come in on my off day. I sighed and sipped my coffee. They wanted me to go in as soon as I got the message. I frowned, looking at my four bottles of pills and sighed. I had skipped my dosage last night, which was probably why I didn't sleep so well, and if I took them now I'd be drowsy all day.

.....

Pulling up to the store, I parked my car and pulled my lanyard over my head so people could see my ID card, then I walked into work.

After clocking in, I walked to my assigned register, and signed in. I flipped on my light switch and put on a happy face as instantly a line formed behind me.

"Want some help?" I jumped at the sudden male voice behind me, and turned around to laughter. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Behind me stood a man covered in ink with shoulder length black hair, brown eyes, and a smile on his handsome face. I flushed, embarrassed, and gave a small nod. He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

Feeling my face heat up, I inwardly cursed. He wanted a verbal response, not a nod of my head. Swallowing the dryness in my mouth, I hid my eyes behind my bangs and turned around.

"Yes, please." The words squeaked out like a mouse and I quickly turned around as he chuckled again, turning the conveyer belt on so that as I scanned groceries, the belt would take them to him to be bagged.

Five long customers later, he switched off the belt and moved around the counter. I stayed still in my small space as I began cleaning my area, pretending not to notice him. The only problem was my brain was all over him! Was he coming to pick on me some more?! Was he going to make fun of me?! Did I do something wrong?!

"I'm Ronnie, what's your name, mouse?"

My heart skipped a beat as he leaned against my register, standing at a full six foot one, he towered over my small four foot eleven height. I looked up through my lashes at him, swallowing the lump in my throat. My nerves were about to jump out of my skin as I stood there smelling the amazing scent of his body spray.

"I'm... Jade." At first I wasn't sure he had heard me, and I was afraid I'd have to repeat myself, but after a moment of silence he spoke.

"I think I'll call you Mouse. See ya around, Mouse." He smiled and walked away with a swagger of confidence that made my knees weak. I found confidence so attractive, probably because I didn't have much confidence myself.

Through out the day, any time we got busy, I found Ronnie behind me, turning on the belt so that I would send the groceries back to him to bag. He'd make a comment about helping a cute little mouse and I'd turn as red as a cherry. Some of the older women would tell me he was flirting with me, but I'm sure he was just being nice. He was way too attractive to flirt with me.

At the end of my shift, I clocked out and was heading to my car when I heard it again. "Hey, Mouse. Wait up."  My heart skipped a beat and my anxiety skyrocketed. We were alone in the parking lot full of cars. What could he possibly want with me?

Turning around I watched him jog my way before  rolling into a fast paced walk before he reached me. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? We could go get a coffee, if you drink that, that is." My heart skipped a beat at his words. Why would he wanna hang out with me? I'm nothing special. I'm not fun to be around.

"Why would you wanna hang out around me? You don't know me." The words slipped from my lips before I could stop them and I instantly regretted them. He looked offended.

"Because I wanna get to know you, Mouse. Is that so wrong?"

Yes.

"No, I guess not." I could feel the heat in my face as he chuckled.

"Good, because it looks like it's going to start raining soon. Give me your phone." I stared at him for a moment but complied like a mindless zombie. He typed something then his phone started ringing. Ronnie smirked as he handed the phone back to me. "I'll call you after I get home and change. Bye Mouse." He turned and walked away, leaving me stunned.

What exactly had just happened? Did I have a date? No! This was just two coworkers hanging out, that's all. Just take a deep breath and breathe.

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