Chasing Sunshine

Epilogue

Saahirah Wilson.

I'm standing next to my Mom when she walks into the hall. The ceremony just ended and we're having a conversation with my homeroom teacher.

I can't deny that my heart flutters a little when I see her and that relief crashes into me. Because if she's here then that means she doesn't hate me.

She looks beautiful. She's wearing dark brown tailored pants with a white shirt and a blazer the same colour as the pants. The shirt's unbuttoned at the top and she looks as if she owns the world.

Her hands are shoved into her pockets and my heart lightens when she smiles at me. It's that smile. The one I love so dam much. The one specially reserved for me.

She walks over, calm and confident as always. She hugs my Mom, before asking to borrow me. She's got my hand and is dragging me out the door before I realise what's happening.

When we're outside she pulls me to a bench and sits down. I sit too. There's silence, for a while. She breaks it.

"I miss you," she says, and it's like a dam breaks because everything I've been keeping bottled up just comes tumbling out.

"I'm sorry, Zay. God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it, I didn't mean what I said-" she cuts me off, "Saahirah" and I think maybe my heart's breaking because she never calls me Saahirah and suddenly I hate my own name.

But she smiles at me again, full of love and warmth and I know she's not saying it because she's mad but I also know that she's not really happy either because the smile's not quite reaching her eyes and I think maybe I broke her.

"You meant what you said, love. You just didn't mean the way you said it" I try to say something, maybe deny it but I can't because she's right.

She chuckles, pulls me into a hug "it's okay, Sunshine" and I'm crying before I know it. My hands fist her blazer and I don't want her to let go of me because she's safe. She's always been safe. She's warm and she smells like home and I think maybe I did start to fall for her but it's too late now. It's too late.

She pulls away and brushes my hair from my face "I'm not angry at you, Sunny. You're my best friend. You always will be. That's never going to change.

But neither will the fact that I'm in love with you and I have been for the last seven years. I leave, tomorrow. I didn't want to leave before I got my best friend back.

Sunny, I will always love you. That's not going to change and it's not going to go away. But you were my best friend before you were the girl I love and you'll remain my best friend because I need you like Percy Jackson needs Anabbeth Chase and that's just how it'll always be.

I didn't want to leave you thinking that we weren't best friends anymore. Because I'm not going to throw seven years of friendship away just like that. I came to say goodbye. But I also came to tell you to call me, and visit me. I'm still here, Sunny. I'm always here. I'll need a bit of time, but we're gonna be okay" and her words make me cry more because they're exactly what I wanted to hear.

For weeks, I just wanted to know that I didn't lose my best friend because I was stupid and mean. That I didn't push away the one person who was always there and now she's here and she's telling me it's okay and it's all I could have hoped for.

"I'll call, every dam day. And I'll visit you as often as I can, I promise" she laughs and wipes my tears "you better" I laugh with her then.

She stands "I've to go now, but I'll see you at the airport tomorrow" I nod. I don't mind that she's leaving already because it just means that she's not saying goodbye permanently. That I'll see her again. That we'll talk.

"Who knows, maybe a few months from now we'll go get coffee together and laugh about how absolutely in love with you I was. About how we broke each others hearts" she beams at me and I know she's joking.

She turns to leave and the sunlight is shining down on her and even though all I can see is her back, she looks fucking stunning.

And for a moment, I consider that maybe we've had it all wrong. That maybe she's the sun. And everyone's just been chasing her. Chasing Sunshine.

______

That's it guys. That's all. It's a wrap. Thank you to everyone who took a chance on my shitty story. Thank you for tolerating my fickle main character.

Thanks you everyone who encouraged me to keep writing even when I wanted to give up. I hope y'all enjoyed Chasing Sunshine as much as I enjoyed writing it.

-C. RG. Novaek Grimm-Pitch.