Then Do It

Chapter 11

As I finish putting my guitar away for the night I realize how peaceful it's been recently. It's unnerving.

For the past two weeks school hasn't been overly dramatic and Dad hasn't tried to get me to come over or anything. I've been able to just relax with Mom or Chloe and Brady. 

I quickly use the bathroom and wash my hands before looking through the fridge and cupboards for something I could make for dinner. Finding a box of macaroni-n-cheese, I start boiling the water as I listen to music with my old speaker. 

Dad bought it for me a while ago for when I'm at his house but I ended up taking it home to use here too. 

As "The Village" by Wrabel plays my thoughts are filled with coming out and I check the water.

Should I tell Mom? She was totally okay with me being gay. Telling her this just means that I'm technically straight. I don't think she would hate me for it but I don't know for sure that she won't.

I pour the small noodles into the boiling water.

She might hate me. And Dad definitely won't be happy about it. He would hate me more than he already seems to.

Maybe I can start by telling Mom. Then, if she accepts me, she can help me figure out how to tell the rest of the family. 

"How can I tell her that her daughter isn't her daughter at all?" I ask aloud as the song ends and I stir the food around a bit. "Hey, Mom. I'm a boy and I want you to call me Asher," I scoff at myself as a new song plays.

I nod my head along with the music as I make sure the food is cooked fully before moving to the strainer and pour the pot of watery noodles into the strainer in the sink.

Water falls down the drain and once it's all strained I put the noodles back in the pot and grab the packet of cheese. Mom comes inside as I mix the cheese in the noodles.

"Dinner's just about done," I tell her as she takes her snowy coat off and I turn the music off. 

"Thanks," she smiles as she rubs her hands together to warm them. "It's freezing out there."

"Yeah," I agree as I finish stirring. "Spoon or fork?" I grab two bowls and set them next to the pot of cheesy goodness.

"Fork please." I grab two forks and set them in each bowl before splitting the food between us. 

"So, how was work?" I ask as we sit at the table.

"Busy," Mom sighs. "One lady came in to ask if we had any paper plates. They were right next to her and she could clearly see them."

"Was she blind or something?" I take a bite of my meal.

"No, just stupid." We chuckle at that before I clear my throat.

I'm going to do it.

"Mom?" She gives me a small hum to let me know she's listening as she eats. "I have something to tell you."

"Those are the exact same words you said before you told me you were gay, what's up?"

"Well, I'm not gay," she gives me a confused look. "I like girls. But it's technically not gay."

"So, you're bi?" she questions.

"No," I shake my head before stammering to continue. "I-I'm not a girl."

"You're trans?" I nod, my hands shaking.

"I want you to call me Asher," I say, barely above a whisper as I set my fork in the bowl of food.

"Okay," Mom nods. "Does this mean you're going by other pronouns too?"

"He and him," I nod. I'm shaking all over as we continue.

"Okay, I think I can do that. It might take some getting used to but I will do my best."

"Really?" I can't help my vision getting slightly blurry at how easy that actually was.

"Yes," she gives me a loving smile. "You're my son. How could I not try and make you comfortable?"

"I love you so much," I go around to her side of the table as I wipe a tear away.

"I love you too," Mom smiles as she stands up to hug me.

We stand like that for a minute or two before sitting back down.

"Have you told anyone else?" we start eating again, I can't help my dopey smile.

"Basically the entire school knows," I shrug. "Victoria told everyone after the party that night."

"That's a bitchy thing to do," she comments causing me to nod.

"Yeah, and Brady helped me figure it out so he knows."

"That's nice," she nods. "Do you want to tell the rest of the family?"

"I want to," I nod as I swallow the food in my mouth. "I sort of just want to put it on FaceBook or something. Then if they don't like it I can just ignore them," we chuckle.

"Well, when you're ready to tell them. Give me a warning so I can be ready for them to ask me about it and all that jazz," I nod and she continues to ask questions about what I am and I answer her honestly.

She seems to understand most of it but she makes sure to have me clarify some things.

After dinner we clean our dishes and relax on the couch until we both end up falling asleep there.