A Heart Full Of Love (SLOW UPDATES)

22| Nowhere

Chapter 22: Nowhere (Tristan's POV)

I think it's been twenty minutes now. Twenty minutes of us just sitting side by side on her bed, in pin-drop silence. We kissed for a while, she kissed me back. And the second time we pulled away to breathe she told me to stop. So I did and since then we've been sitting in this awkward silence that I would do anything to get rid of. 

"Don't do that again," she said softly. 

I turned to look at her. That's the first thing she wants to say to me? "Why not?" 

"Because I don't want you to." 

I looked at her, trying to read her. To figure her out. "Okay," I agreed. 

Her eyes snapped up to my face. "What?" 

"You said you don't want me to do that again? Okay." 

"You... you'll agree so easily?" 

"There isn't much room for agreement. I have to listen to what you tell me." 

"Why?" she frowned. 

"Because if I don't it's sexual assault," I scoffed. 

She clicked her tongue, huffing in frustration. "Aren't you exaggerating?" 

"I'm not. I'm really not. Because if someone sees me trying to kiss you and you tell me not to, I will likely go to jail." 

"Tristan." 

"Emma." 

"This conversation and this night, both, are going nowhere. So, let's end both. I think you should go." 

"You said I could stay." 

"I meant go to the other room," she said, rolling her eyes. 

"Before I go, answer my question." 

"Question or questions?" 

"I don't know yet," I mumbled. 

"Fine. Ask." 

"Why don't you want to kiss me?" 

She dragged a hand down her face and then looked at me. "It's not that I don't want to kiss you. I just don't want those kisses to turn into something else because I know that you'll get hurt because of me again if they do. And I really don't want that for you." 

"But that's my choice, how is it fair that you do this to make that decision for me? If I want you to hurt me, I'll do whatever I want to." 

"Why are you looking to get hurt?" she groaned. 

"I'm looking to have you! And if I get a little hurt in the process, then I'm okay with that." 

"Well, I'm not!" she snapped, turning her body to face me. "I'm not okay with that," she repeated a little softly this time. 

I let out an agitated sigh, my tongue poking the inside of my cheek. "You know what, you're right. This conversation and this night, both, really are going nowhere. So, why don't you and I just do what we do best, hmm? Pretend like nothing happened but still do petty things to get back at each other. I'll go to the other room, pretend like nothing happened, and be gone before you wake up tomorrow, okay? Sound good?" I climbed off the bed, standing there and looking at her. 

"And then when we get to work on Monday, we'll still pretend like nothing happened, and we won't talk about the fact that we argued tonight, and I'll act like a dick and you give a shit ton of work again, and you'll do it all. But you'll complain later about how I was a dick, isn't that our routine?" I scoffed, tucking my hands into my pockets.