Unspoken Words

chapter 9|lewis

Flaming Hot Cheeto

hey. sorry, but i'm not coming to school today, jesse can tell you why.

Not Leotrim

Are you okay?

Flaming Hot Cheeto

meh. but thanks for asking <3

Not Leotrim

Oh. Let me know if I can help.

Flaming Hot Cheeto

thank you so much, really.

I stare at the chat bubbles, trying to decipher some kind of message behind the lines. What happened? If Cheeto was physically sick, ze would've told me. It's got to be something with zir mental health. But what? Maybe ze's just having a really bad day? No, I would know that, too. And what does Jesse have to do with it? Why won't Cheeto talk?

"Sweetie, you should get going if you don't want to be late!" I flinch and look up. Anna is standing in the doorway to my room. "You okay?"

"I... Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." I say, get up and take my bag from my bed. "Love you!" I say as I hug my mother and she whispers: "I love you, too."

~

"Jesse, hey!"

The girl raises her head and waves at me as I walk towards our table.

"So... What happened? Why's Cheeto not here?" I ask, sitting down next to her. She presses her lips together before taking her notebook and pen from her pocket to note something down and hand it to me.

I was at Cheeto's yesterday and its mother/birthgiver/whatever paid Jayden a visit, telling him his dad/seed dude/idfk was dead and looking for Cheeto. Didn't see it bc Jayden didn't let her in & I pretended to be the only one there when Cheeto made a noise, but it's obviously feeling like shit & kinda paranoid atm. Asked me to tell you that bc it doesn't wanna talk about it again rn

I put the book down, not knowing how to react to that. Dahlia and Gregor, Cheeto's bio-parents, died for me ages ago when ze first told me what they were like and why ze didn't want me to visit. I raise the notebook again, reading through every sentence a second time, and notice a part I sort of skipped. I pretended to be the only one there when Cheeto made a noise.

Jesse flinches as I throw my arms around her, and as I consider letting go due to her reaction, she returns the embrace.

"I'm not sure you know how thankful I am for what you did there." And Jayden, too. I add in my head and make a mental note to also give him a tight hug whenever I see him again. I think the siblings both really need one right now. And so much more.

Cheeto means so much to me, and Jesse standing up to protect zir is just something I can't leave uncommented. As I let her go, she gives me a short, one-sided smile. And as she takes the book from my hand to write something else, I watch her scribble the sentences and realize that she, Jesse Michaels, with her brown eyes and hair, slight freckles, hoodies and incredible courage and sense for morality is the most beautiful girl I've ever met.

You don't have time for this. Your best friend is literally feeling terrible because of Dahlia somehow coming back into zir life.

It's not a matter of time, dumbass.

As the two voices of me in my head argue, she finishes and holds out the notebook. It takes me a second to get back to reality and look from her face back at the writing. If she noticed, she doesn't point it out.

I just can't believe what Cheeto told me about its parents. I mean, I do believe Cheeto, of course, but it's just fucked up Her writing says.

"It is, god. I remember the day ze told me, I was just so..." I can hardly find the words. "Furious. Shocked. Everything on that spectrum." There is a pause, until I say what I think. "You know, when you were at Cheeto and Jayden's for the first time, I kind of realized you would probably find out about the whole parents situation at some point. And I was just hoping you wouldn't react badly, but... This, I... It's so terrible that it had to happen, but your reaction was so... selfless. I just wanted to say that I admire that."

Jesse actually shakes her head and I open my mouth to say something, but she holds up a hand to stop me and starts writing.

I just don't get it. Jayden and Cheeto said something similar, and I just can't understand why that's not normal. I know it's not, but why?

"Because humanity's fucked up, Jesse." I respond. "This world is cruel and that's why we need every single person who's trying to make it a better place."

She's spinning the pencil between her fingers, looking at me and back to the paper, then back at me. Nods. Puts the writing utensils in her pocket and holds out an arm towards me, we hug for the second time today.

Her hair tickles my face a little, and as I breathe, I smell Lily shampoo.