Random Thoughts

here we go

so i have 2 days till i graduate high school and i'm failing all classes but one and my mom is going to give me the boot if i dont graduate i know i can get my grades to passing before then but she has given up  she wants nothing to do with me anymore she say its because she loves me and i know she does but when she says she will kick me out and drop me off at a woman's shelter. with no phone and i dont have a drivers license and i dont have anyone i can turn to for help . it feels like she does not care at all but i know she does she choose me after all ( i was adopted in my mid teens) i have already got most of my work in for 2 classes i only have to work on 2 more then then i will be good to go but it still hurts that she would go that far as to kick me out when i dont see graduating as that big of a deal plenty of people live a good life with out graduating high school but its a massive deal to her she thinks that if you  dont graduate from high school all you will be is a bum i will have my work in  time but it just hurts to think she would really kick me out for "my own good" i dont thinks she knows that her saying that makes me feel as if im not wanted and that i will be nothing and that i will have a hopeless future even if i graduate. sometimes i think that life is just pointless we are going to die anyways  but other times the thought of living a hopeless life scares me  im going to graduate but i can say i will truly be happy with myself if i do but i wont be if i dont ether right now i just dont see a way to be happy or a reason to be happy with my life right now