Jasper wasn't home. He left me a note indicating that he was out for the night with Bella. I sighed, placing the note back down on the table. My heart sunk, I wanted to say goodbye to him.
I pulled my hoodie over my head, walking along the cold dark streets of Sydney. I was the storm in summer, the fire in ice, the broken hearted. I found myself next to the busy road. Cars were speeding down one by one. I felt my body fill with adrenaline. I grinned widely to myself, running onto the road. My heart was pounding my chest rising with every pant.
Cars were dogging around me, causing people to scream at me. "Get off the fucking road, freak!"
The sounds of cars swiftly turning and break petals filled my ears. Car horns, blurring into my ears.
"Hit me!" I said quietly, through tears. "Hit me!" i repeated, now louder. The sadness had taken over. Like Shakespeare once said, to be or not to be.. That was the question? And I needed this, I had to get out of this hell. I couldn't bare the pain anymore. My mind was blaring with crazy thoughts, whilst it taunted me with everything that has and will go wrong. Nothing seemed to matter, all the pain and sacrifice will be over soon.
"HIT ME! I FEEL NUMB ALL THE FUCKING TIME! I NEED TO FEEL ANYTHING, ANYTHING BUT SADNESS"
Don't do this Maddie, don't do this. A soft voice in the back of my head, whispered. I had to, I needed to. Everyone leaves, everyone. I can't suffer living anymore..
"ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU ALL FUCKING HAPPY? I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE! IT'S SAD HOW PEOPLE WOULD RATHER DIE THEN LIVE IN THIS SOCIEY"
"hit me! I'm not afraid, i'm not scared anymore. I'M NOT AFARID" I repeated through my sobs.
Cars were speeding down the road, before slamming on their breaks causing people to beep their horns like mad. "Fucking psycho!" some man shouted through his car window.
"Carving your arms up every night. It's beautiful isn't it? I love how the blood trickles down your wrist.. And thats the only time when I know i'm actually alive!"
I soon realised a small amount of people were forming on the side of the road. Begging for me to "Calm down", "everything will be ok", "get off the road!", "stop!".
"So hit me! Please, I don't want to live like this anymore! FUCKING KILL ME"
I'm sorry Jasper.. I really am. Allison I'll be with you soon, I miss you. Mum, dad I'm sorry but you'll have your daughter back... Luke, Luke, Luke.. I love you.
I shut my eyes, the smell of brunt tires was all I could breathe in. "I'm not afraid.." I whimpered. I could see the orangey glowing light behind my eyelids caused by the headlights as the car came closer. My eyes were locked shut, fully accepting of what was about to happen. The collision was excruciatingly painful. But the agony was worth it, I'll finally be alone. I'll finally be six feet under, where no one taunts me.. I heard footsteps, cries and screams of people around me, but it faded quickly.
Then everything went dark.
Fake Love of chapter 30...
Btw this isn't the end of the story, 'cause some of you guys thought it were.
I hope you guys are liking Fake Love.
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