Soaring (BTS KTH FF)

06. Saving Grace pt.2

"What happened to saying goodbye?" 

once again it was him who broke the silence. A tinge of amusement filling his tone, covering an emotion Miok couldn't make hide nor tail out of. or rather, didn't dare believe was there.

"Is that only if I don't say a word?"

Miok had to take a deep breath to stamp down the urge to just look. However it might as well be the straw that breaks the camels back and Miok was well aware that she wasn't strong enough to bear that burden.

"Cut me some slack. We met almost three months ago and not once have you deemed it necessary to talk to me. Excuse me for being startled," She grumbled as she rose to her feet, taking slow steps until she stood right in front of him. Eyes still glued to his bare feet ('he has long toes, they somehow look pretty' a fleeting thought) she reached over and wrapped her arms around his shoulder, pressing right up against him. While he didn't avoid her hug this time, he didn't exactly hug her back either. Arms remaining limp and still as a statue as she squeeze him tight.

"I'm gonna miss you," She whispered into his shoulder, his ears sharp enough to pick her muffled voice. "I wish there was something, anything I can do to change your mind. I wish I can bring Eunha down here to remind you of the reason you should not throw your life away like this. I wish I can promise to take you out of this cell and let you soar in the skies where you belong. I wish I had the power to make all of this happen, but I'm only human and there is only so much power I hold. I'm sorry."

By the end of her rant his shirt was soaked through with her tears. Her arm around him supported her whole weight, which hung on him. At one point one of his had to wrap an arm around her just to keep her upright or she'd have sunken to the ground long since.

"There is something you can do for me if you really wanted. Right here, right now." His voice was a hiss, one between Anger and hope.

Not having found the courage to look him in the eye quite yet, she hummed to let him know she was listening.

"Use that dagger you have stashed in your boot and slit my throat."

He said it in such a matter-of-fact manner that she had to hold her breath for a second to make sure she heard him right. How could he just...

Heart plunged straight to her feet, the small will-power that kept her standing gave out, knocking the breath right out of her lungs. Her next sob came out between a cry as her legs gave way. She barely felt his hand falling away from her waist, letting her drop to the floor. It would have hurt less if he had decided to gobble her whole.

Sliding down the length of his body, face burying against his hip. Refusing to let go of him, she could only cling on as she tried to hold back the sobs that wracked her body, shaking him right along with her. He reached out, hand hovering over her head, but then decided against touching her and withdrew his hand.

"This way you would save me from both being tortured and a slave to their whims," He went on after a short pause in that same monotone. Dry, as if he were already aware that she would never do it.

 Miok froze completely, her breath stuck on her throat. Fingers curling tighter around the loose linen trousers he wore, knuckles white with how tight she had the material fisted in her hand. Face pressed right against his thigh she didn't take a single breath, brain refusing to register his request. Refusing to believe he had really asked that from her.

His request wasn't something her conscience would ever allow her to go through with. Not something she could live through doing. 

She couldn't blame him for his desperation to escape this reality. But to simply give up, to end his life when she had promised to save it... she wouldn't give in. Not without trying. Not without fighting.