Better Than Nothing: Part 3 of On the Edge Series

Chapter 9

Billy and I were over. I knew that, and I accepted it. But somewhere in his mind, in the quiet moments of his days, he had thought of calling me. He didn't bristle at our every memory. It was as though he permitted me to think of him as well. And I remembered him fondly. Billy Collins was the best worst man that had ever entered my life. We made each other fall in love, knowing that we would fail. As honest as we were with each other, we always tried to convince ourselves that it'd work; maybe he'd stop being a rockstar, or I'd suddenly get out of my own way. But our careers were who we were. He was a rockstar, and I was the career woman I had always wanted to be. We had made it; we just hadn't made it together. Still, I loved my time with Billy, even the terrible times.

"We have plans on Sunday," Mary reminded me, as though we had been in the middle of a conversation instead of me just joining her in the kitchen on Friday morning.

"I know, but we've had many meals together, and I really should get back home to face my real life."

"Nonsense. You can face real life right here."

"Mary, I have to learn to live in Portland without my dad. I have to get used to every brick reminding me of him."

"Nothing reminds you of him here?" She always knew how to press.

The thoughts of my father were as present as much as the thoughts of Billy. I tried to live my life with few regrets, but one regret that had been circling me all week was never listening to Billy's music with my father. I'd never get to know his thoughts. My dad must have been very proud of every album. Billy's style was everything my father loved about music. I had taken some solace that they had remained in touch.

"Lily," Mary brought me back. "You can stay another week."

"Another week," I laughed. "You said Sunday dinner!"

"Well, you won't want to travel during the week. You'd have to miss work. You have Sunday dinner with Tim and the family. Work from here for another week, and you can fly home next weekend; if you must."

I had to laugh at her tenacity. She wouldn't let me out of dinner, and I had agreed to it.

"Fine. Hopefully, I'll manage to get something to eat; James seems to have his father's appetite."

"Oh, I know. It's a good thing Billy was successful. Otherwise, Tim and James would have sent me to the poorhouse years ago."

"Mary, I hope you know how much I appreciate you letting me stay with you. This was exactly what I needed."

She smiled. "I heard some familiar songs coming from your office."

I wasn't surprised that she knew, just like she wasn't surprised that I had finally listened to his work. "I'm officially a Billy Collins superfan. Do they have like foam fingers or anything?"

"We have buttons; I'll make sure you get one," she winked.

"Okay, I have to get to work."

I was happy. I put one of Billy's albums on low in the background as I got lost in my meetings and emails. Tess pulled me back with a ding just after my lunch meeting.

"Lunch and shopping tomorrow? We need girl time before you slip away from me again!"

"Definitely. Mary isn't letting me out of Sunday dinner, even though she must be sick of me now!" I shot back.

"Are you kidding? She may go full Misery on your ass; she loves houseguests, and she loves you!"

"Yikes, I like my ankles the way they are!"

"Then you better do as she says!" Tess shot back. "I'll pick you up tomorrow around 10 am! Oh, who am I kidding? I'll just come at 9 am with Tim. He's been jealous of all the Mary meals you've been eating.