Under the Night Sky

Chapter 30

Meredith unsuccessfully tried to bring her breathing under control as she stood in front of the inn. This was the day, this was the moment. Today her life would take a whole new direction. She wasted enough of her life, she stalled and avoided enough. Today she would become a whole new person, starting now.

"Morning, Doc, you coming in?" one of Cristina's cooks took Meredith out of her musings as he jumped out of his truck carrying a wooden crate full of vegetables.

"Yeah, hey Mack," she smiled, opening the door for him.

She slowly made her way through the hall to the dining area. Cristina was doing some early cleaning, taking advantage of the very early hour.

"Hey," Meredith greeted her friend quietly. She was sure she had guilt written all over her face.

"Oh, look who's graced us with her presence," Cristina snorted nonchalantly, not taking her eyes off the framed picture on the wall she was polishing.

"I'm sorry," sighed Meredith. "I was-"

"Let me guess, you were busy," jeered Cristina. "It slipped your mind that I'm never too busy for you."

"You totally have the right to be mad at me, and I was not busy. I know that's a bullshit excuse," she said and sat down in the booth. "I was doing a full frontal avoidance."

Apparently that was a reply Cristina did not expect as she lowered her arms from her cleaning task and sat down opposite her, staring at her.

Meredith, on the other hand, had her eyes fixed on the picture on the wall, wearing an expression that indicated she was intensively thinking about something.

"Meredith? Meredith! What the hell is wrong with you?" sighed Cristina. "You don't give a sign of life, then you finally show up to stare at the wall? This is seriously-"

"Derek said he loved me."

"-messed up- What?!" gasped Cristina. "Do you need me to kick his ass for you?"

"No," chuckled Meredith. "Not anymore."

"Not- Wait! What do you mean by not anymore?!"

Meredith cleared her throat and shrugged her shoulders a little. "I've dealt with it already."

"You've dealt with already," Cristina repeated hollowly. "The guy you've been in a no commitment relationship has suddenly told you he loved you and you're okay with this-? Oh crap, did you say it back?"

"No," Meredith gave out a small artificial chuckle.

"No- or not yet?" Cristina asked knowingly.

"I have a favor to ask you," said quickly Meredith, ignoring her friend's query.

"Say what?!"

"I know I'm in no position to ask you anything but- it's Derek's birthday-"

"You gotta be kidding me," snorted Cristina. "You've got the nerve!"

"I'd like to organize a little surprise party but you know I'm a cooking disaster and I can't have Derek cook for his own birthday party he doesn't know about-"

"Stop! Stop with the ramble!" Cristina shook her head, narrowing her eyes at her. "I deserve something for the last days' zero contact. Is he staying in-"

"No," Meredith denied immediately.

"Then I'm missing something here! So he claims he loves you but doesn't-"

"I wouldn't want him to stay!" Meredith looked at her pleadingly.

"But you're fall-"

"Don't say that! Please don't make me say that!"