Rise of the Lily

Chapter Seven - A Light in the Dark

Every day for the next three weeks was the same. Rina would bring breakfast in the morning. Grandmother would share her ideas and plans. Then lunch. More learning. Dinner. A bath. Sleep. And it would all start again the next day.

Sometimes, Grandmother would try to engage her in debates. Try to get her to share her thoughts. But it was too much effort. Kaya just wanted to lie down. There was no point to anything she wanted or anything she did. At night, when she was finally alone, Kaya would sit at the desk and run her fingers along her lily's petals. Without sunlight, it was starting to fade. Without the lily, what would remind her of what she'd done?

Her guilt over Nivar, over Aron. She needed to feel the pain. She dived deeper into her despair, remembering the night her parents had died.

The Queen had been throwing a banquet, and she, Mother and Father were meant to attend. They had just gone to another state function a few days ago, and Kaya wasn't ready for another. Talking to many people she didn't know always tired her out. Her parents had asked if she wanted them to stay with her. She'd urged them to go. She'd said she would be happy relaxing at home and tending the new peace lily mother had given her.

That's what she'd been doing when she'd heard the news.

Two of the Queen's guards had knocked on the door. Her parents had died. There'd been a fire at the banquet. They helped the Queen escape and had gone back in to help others. They'd saved five others. There was one more person they'd seen inside the smoke. That was the last thing they said. The third time they'd gone in, they hadn't returned.

When the fire was out, their bodies had been found. They'd been together, fingers intertwined. No other bodies had been found.

If Kaya had gone with them, she could have stopped them from going back in. If she hadn't urged them to go ahead, they wouldn't have been there in the first place. If she'd been with them, instead of tending that lily, they would still be alive.

Her nights were as restless as her days, though the nights were more vivid. Sometimes, she dreamed of Nivar's screams. On other nights, the roots of her lily burst out of the pot and wrapped around her, stopping her from moving forward. The more she struggled, the tighter they held her. She would awaken in the mornings sweaty and less rested than when she'd gone to bed.

~

"Here's your dinner, your Highness," Rina said. She let the tray of food fall the last centimeter so that the sambar splashed onto Kaya's clothes. She ate the dosa without comment. "At least you weren't boring before," Rina said. She trounced out of the room, her new anklets jingling. Grandmother must have given them to her.

"Hello, Kaya," Grandmother said as she entered. "I see you are as mute as ever. It seems Nivar is right about you. You are a useless girl." Kaya looked up at the mention of Nivar's name. "That's right, he regrets trusting you. He says you are weak and your decisions have led to the ruin of the kingdom." Grandmother steepled her fingers. "I couldn't care less about the kingdom, but he is right. You are a weak girl. Look at you, sitting in this room like a mute doll."

Tears built in her eyes. She had known she was useless. Worse than useless since she made things worse. But to hear it in Nivar's words still hurt. She'd thought she'd closed herself off enough these past few weeks. It appeared there was still some pride left in her after all.

Grandmother continued. The old witch was probably happy to be getting a reaction. "He also said he hopes you will keep reliving this choice over an over. When you see the Prince die, when you see the Queen die. Just keep reliving this moment until it consumes you. Don't even try to do anything about it."

"I see," Kaya said. She didn't need those words. It's what she had been doing anyway.

"I wish I could see you more active," Grandmother said. "I still believe in you, even if Nivar and the Prince would toss you away. I know you can understand why we are doing this. We can fight against people like them. People that use others until they are no longer useful. Until we do something they do not like." Grandmother cupped Kaya's face and shook her.

Kaya did not respond. Some of what Grandmother had taught her made sense. But, killing the Queen and Prince would never be right. Even if Grandmother had good intentions, this was wrong.

"I've given you enough chances," Grandmother said, releasing Kaya's face. "The Prince is arriving tomorrow. The two of you will be married. You can remain silent, but nothing will change." She stood and walked away. "I have better things to do today."

The Prince was coming already? Kaya had thought there would be more time. She felt sick. What was Grandmother's plan? How would she kill them? Kaya lay back down in the bed. She wrapped herself up.

There was no point speculating. As Nivar had said, she was a useless and weak person. She remembered his smile and easygoing nature that night in his hut. Was he broken now? Had she made the wrong choice? There had been hope back then. If only he'd taken her advice and left. They wouldn't be in this situation. Something had happened, just as she'd thought.

If something happens that we do not foresee, we must push forward. Mistakes will always happen.

His words rose unbidden into her mind. Something felt wrong. The man she'd spoken with and the words Grandmother had shared did not match.

Kaya sat up in bed. Nerves fluttered in her stomach. Her body twitched with anticipation. She was restless, but in a different way than she had over the last few nights.

Doing nothing was a choice, too.

That's what she was choosing now. She'd chosen to tell Grandmother everything. It had been the choice she could live with at the time. It had been the best choice she could make. But, was sitting here and doing nothing the best she could do?

Kaya looked at the lily again. Her feelings swirled around her. It had been the last thing her mother had given her. But, it had also been what had taken her attention the day her parents had died. It was sickly now.

Mother wouldn't have wanted the plant to die.She wouldn't have wanted Kaya to stay still, to stop moving forward. Kaya stoodand started to pace. There was still time. She would think of something. Shehad to. She was the only one left.