Guns & Roses || Namkook

12. Way too Late to Save our Souls

They, in fact, don't talk about the kiss. Not at all. Neither Namjoon nor Jungkook bring it up. Both for their own distinct reasons. Namjoon doesn't bring it up because he's worried Jungkook had only kissed him because he was dazed, drunk on his sadness.

And Jungkook doesn't bring it because he wants Namjoon to be desperate for him. He wants to play hard to get. The more he does so, the more Namjoon will be agonized to talk to him about the events that took place last night. He has to be the one to bring it up.

Jungkook will only be successful in his mission when he breaks Namjoon. He's going to make Namjoon so desperate for him that the doctor would be willing do anything. That he would be willing to share all the dirt he has on his criminal family. After all, manipulation is Jungkook's thing.

Then why does it hurt this time?

Jungkook sighs. "Something's not right", he tells Jackson on the phone. The other man makes an exasperated noise in the back of his throat. "Jeon, you know how serious this is, right? You can't get sidetracked now. They'll not spare you if you fuck this up for our gang", he warns.

Jungkook growls. "I will not fuck this up for anyone. Don't mess with me, Wang. This is already frustrating as it is", he says through gritted teeth. He can almost hear Jackson rolling his eyes. "Suit yourself, Captain. I have no interest in trying to mess with you. I'm just trying to protect you", his voice lowers by the end.

Jungkook softens a little, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just really stressed out about this. I just need to make Namjoon trust me with his life so that I can finally get this over with", he says, feeling a dull ache in his chest. He decides to ignore it.

"Good. Boss will be very happy. We haven't had a mission like this since Matsuda-san. And taking down the Serpentines is harder yet more fruitful. We're gonna succeed no matter what", Jackson replies, voice suddenly full of newfound enthusiasm.

Jungkook just nods, hanging up the call quickly when he hears footsteps approaching his room. The man is in a lavender hoodie, jean shorts barely covering anything past his upper thighs. He has to look away when he realises he's been staring.

"Umm... breakfast's ready", Namjoon says awkwardly, not meeting his eyes. He doesn't enter Jungkook's room, choosing to stay outside the door, shifting from one leg to another. It's clear he's having a hard time being around Jungkook and that doesn't sit right with the younger.

"I'll be out in five minutes. Thank you, hyung", he replies softly. Namjoon nods, still looking at the floor as if the marble is suddenly more interesting than Jungkook. Before said man has a chance to say more, Namjoon is fleeing his room in a haste, looking extremely uncomfortable and embarassed.

Jungkook sighs. This is not going to work. He has to talk to Namjoon to make his plan move forward. He just doesn't know why his heart feels so heavy everytime he thinks about deceiving the beautiful doctor. He shakes his head in hopes of clearing his mind. He cannot risk getting off track again.

"Hyung, can we talk?", Jungkook blurts out as soon as he reaches the dining table. Namjoon's eyes go comically wide and he drops the spoon in his hand out of shock. Hastily, he goes to pick it up when he feels Jungkook's hand over his own. Jungkook, who's now crouching on the floor with him, impossible to ignore anymore.

Namjoon gulps. "What is it?", he almost whispers, afraid of what he might hear. "I'm sorry", Jungkook replies slowly. Namjoon hears his heart breaking before he feels the pain. He tries to keep his eyes from watering. This man hasn't even been here for more two weeks. You can't be crying over someone you barely know. Get a grip, Namjoon!

He tries to smile, failing miserably. "That's okay. It didn't even mean anything. I'm really sorry for kissing you when you were so vulnerable", he rambles fast enough that even if Jungkook didn't know he was heartbroken, that would've given it away immediately.

Jungkook smiles a little, trying to look endeared (he is).  "That's not— that's not what I'm apologizing for", he says, gentle with his words. He takes both of Namjoon's hands into his before standing up carefully, pulling Namjoon up with him.

He looks straight into Namjoon's eyes. "Hyung, I'm sorry for acting like yesterday never happened. I'm sorry that you felt like the kiss didn't matter. Because it did, to me. It mattered— matters so much. I-I know I'm just some stranger that you decided to shelter but I really, really like you", he says, trying to sound as honest as possible. It's not true, whatever he's saying. But Namjoon will never see through his lies. He's way too pure to understand deceive when it comes looking like a beautiful dream.

Namjoon's lower lip trembles and instead of saying anything, he pulls Jungkook into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Jungkookie, I don't know you at all. But I really, really like you, too. And I trust you. Please don't break my heart", he whispers the last part as if he's afraid anyone other than Jungkook might know how vulnerable his heart is, only to break it into pieces and scatter the ashes so that they're never to be found again.

Jungkook's arm goes slack wrapped around Namjoon's waist as he nuzzles his neck. His plan is going so well. Everything's working exactly how he had hoped it would.

Then why does he feel like crying?

Jungkook wonders what Namjoon— beautiful, sweet, kind-hearted Namjoon, would do when he finds out it was all a lie. He doesn't know if he would be able to handle it, the pain, the heartbreak, the betrayal. If he'd even live to hate Jungkook and everything he is.

I trust you. Please don't break my heart.

It's too late now.

Had to read the whole story to remember the plot. It's been a long time coming damn. Idk when I'd be back again but I hope you enjoyed!

Love, KK💜