Wicked Game | Miya Atsumu

fifty-four.

"Actually, I started seeing you as my girlfriend since that night. I know I didn't ask you out properly because I thought that's something that the millennials have stopped doing. I'm sorry if that makes you confused but you are my girlfriend, y/n"

"I never lie when I told you that I love you. I never lie when I said that you make me the happiest person on earth. Every word I said, they're nothing but the truth. I waited for you for so long and I finally get to love and to own you. I should have loved you better, I should have treated and appreciate you better. I shouldn't have wasted the love and trust you have in me"

"Think about the moment where we felt the happiest. Think about all things we did while we were together. Think about all the words I said from the bottom of my heart. Feel it, y/n. My heart beats for you. Only you. I love you so much. I can't afford to lose you, y/n. Please... Please give me one last chance and I promise that I'll love you better. That I won't let myself to hurt you ever again. I promise that I will always go after you and to always ask if I did something that upsets you. I promise that I'll change myself. I promise that I'll be a good boyfriend for you..."

"I'll be starting a new life, a new career in volleyball there"

"I didn't really abandon you, neglect you, ignore you. I was there... watching from you afar. I have never begged someone but I did it for the sake of you. I begged Osamu to help me out; passing you the medicines when you were sick, drive you here and there, to ensure you that you eat well, rest well, and live happily. I did that behind you because you're still my girlfriend even how mad I was at you. You're still one of my priority and I can't just let you be just like that. It's just... The ego always won me over"

"Hurting you was never a thing that I enjoyed doing. More like I don't want to see you in pain, but too bad, I'm a normal human too... Who tends to make mistakes over and over. I'm sorry, y/n. I really am. I'm sorry for causing you nothing but heartbreaks"

"The months I spent with you... Were great. I've never loved someone as hard as how I loved you. I couldn't find myself open up my heart for someone else. I just love you so much. You were the reason for all my smiles and laughter. You were the reason why I chose to wake up and attend classes, never skip practices, and to always play volleyball. You were my backbones, my supporter, the one who I saw as my motivation to keep going forward. It's you, l/n y/n. It's always been you"

"Thank you for giving me the chance to be called as your boyfriend. Even if it's such a short period, I loved it. Thank you for all the good things you've done for me. I'm very sorry for giving you the treatments you hate the most. I'm really sorry for breaking your heart, hurting you continuously"

"Thank you for considering me in your life..."

"I hope you will find your own happiness. I hope the person after me will treat you better than I did. I hope he won't hurt you, I hope he will make you smile all the time"

"I'm letting you go, y/n. Please live a happier life after this"

"Goodbye... My one and only... The love of my life"

I clutched my heart as I felt a sharp pain coming from it. The pain... The pain inside of my chest, it was unbearable. It was uncomfortable. It was just too painful for me to bear with it.

I still love him. That's one thing that I'm very sure of.

But he's going away. Far away.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging them closely as I buried my face on my kneecaps and continued crying silently.

I love him. I just love him.

The next day...

I woke up later than usual. It was 12pm. Woke up with swollen and puffy eyes because of crying too much last night. Not forgetting the fact that I got myself to sleep around 5am. Why is my life so miserable.