The Ones We Don't See

When I close my eyes

"Memories.... they either help you or harvest you. I have yet to decide which it is for me. It's Thursday, and its raining. Zayn used to love the rain, said it gave you a new perspective on life. I never understood what he meant by that.. Not until I ended up out here.  Back to memories. I remember each of their laughs, their scents, their embrace. I remember how strong Liam was as he carried me around. I remember the way Louis could always get me to laugh. I remember how Harry always knew what I needed. And Zayn, I remember how he was the only one who could get me to calm down, relax. He let me paint with him. And as pointless as I saw it back then, he made me sit out on the porch in his lap, and listen to the rain.  Symbolic shit I know, ten points for Niall. Anyways I'm soaking wet as we speak. Josh my.. ugh bully, yeah just bully.. splashed me with water when he drove past me today. It's cold.. that much I know. Apart from that I feel nothing. How was school? Bad. I'm back in my alley though. Soaking wet.... I can't tell if my face is wet from my tears or from the rain. Doesn't matter. Water, moisture, liquid, whatever it is, its there. And when I close my eyes, my brothers are there too. - Niall" 

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The blonde boy shut his journal and put it in his backpack, changing into the cleanest clothes he had. The sun was setting and he felt his stomach growl with hunger pains. He hadn't eaten in two days. 

Throwing his backpack on, Niall went off to the closest dollar store, using all the money he had made that day playing his guitar after school, to buy some crackers for dinner. It wasn't much, but it kept him alive. 

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As Niall walked back towards his alley he crossed a bridge. Stopping to look down at the rushing water, he wondered what it would feel like to drown. He was tempted, but he knew he couldn't. Not yet. Niall clutched on to his childish innocence and forced himself to believe his brothers were coming. 

Just a little longer, he thought.  Pushing himself away from the edge, Niall returned to his alley. 

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The sun had settled beyond the skyline and the stars light up the sky as Niall set his backpack behind his head. Wrapping his arms around himself, Niall closed his eyes. 

Hold on, he thought. When I close my eyes I see you...