always you² | derek morgan. ✓

07 | deal.

Hotch lets out a soft exhale, "Look..." He begins, leaning forward a bit as his eyes continuously search mine, "I don't care if you lie to the team, I don't care if you lie to Spence, I don't care if you lie to the therapist that Strauss has every agent going to..." He begins - his words leaving their mark as he speaks in a low, condemned tone.

"...But you are not going to lie to me." He states, shaking his head slightly as he leans back.

"I'm not-" I begin to defend myself.

Hotch nods slightly, "You are." He states, cutting me off as I just decide to accept the defeat - letting him continue to profile every ounce of emotion that I have had.

Hotch clears his throat, "You are lying to every single person in your life right now, Charlotte, even Derek - who seems to be the most important one." He states.

I shake my head, "I don't understand where you're going with this..." I state in a low, whispered tone as I give my shoulders a small shrug.

"Derek can't trust and neither can you, and I think that's affecting your mentality." Hotch states in the most solemn, honest tone I've ever heard him use.

I scoff lightly at Hotch's words, "That's a load. I'm not scared of trusting anyone. I trust perfectly fine." I lie.

Hotch nods slightly, breezing right past my lie as he continues, "As I said before, I don't care if you lie to Reid or the rest of the team. I don't care if you lie to the therapist that Strauss has assigned to every agent working the bureau. I only care about how your behavior affects your job-" He begins.

My brow furrows as I give my head a little shake, "I don't think it has-" I begin to state, trying to defend myself.

Hotch gives me a look, seeing right through my naivety, "You have been overcompensating." He states, profiling me again.

"How have I-" I begin.

Hotch tilts his head slightly, "You rushed to repair your relationship with Morgan. You care more about Reid, Emily, and Luke's feelings - more than you do your own." He states.

"That's being a good friend." I add on.

Hotch pierces his lips together slightly before letting them part slowly, "You sometimes give me parenting advice, and you don't even have a child of your own." He states, showing no hesitation in his profile.

I wince slightly at his words, letting in a sharp inhale through my teeth, "Okay, so, maybe I have been working a little harder to get closer to the team...but that's only so I can have more people to rely on. I mean, you did tell me that you wanted me to feel like this team was my family." I state, trying to turn this all back on Hotch.

Hotch's brow furrows as I give him a sly smile, "Is that such a bad thing?" I ask, giving my brow a little arch as I lean forward.

Hotch shakes his head, "No. It only is if you use it to avoid what you went through." He states, his words coming out harsher than ever.

I shake my head, "But, I'm not." I state at my own defense before continuing, "I chose to come back to work aftet the incident with Derek. Why? Because I know that letting a relationship get in the way of my line of work is silly. I know that this team depends on my worth ethic and depends on my ability to work together with them. I care about the people I work with, yes, but I also know it's clean - I know who the good guys and the bad guys are and I know how to do my job - in fact, I know how to do it, pretty damn well." I state, my tone firm.

Hotch nods, taking in every bit of my words.

I give him a sideways look as his lips part slowly, "Okay. I want you to make a deal with me-" He begins, giving me a small bargain.

I nod slightly at his words, "Anything." I state in a low tone.

Hotch's lips part slowly as his eyes meet mine, searching them, "You're gonna go weeks - months, even - with feeling fine, and then you're gonna have a bad day." He states, his words hitting home hard.

My lips part slowly as my eyes continuously search his, focusing on analyzing his words.

"Just let me know when you do..." He states.

"And that's it?" I ask, giving him a sideways look as he finishes up his sentence.

"That's it." Hotch states with a small nod.

"Deal." I state, accepting his bargain.

I never should've accepted that deal, because after all of this, I don't think anyone can repair my damaged goods.

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authors note;

hi my loves! sorry for the small delay in the chapter - wattpad was being glitchy! as i said at the start of the chapter, i want to create a stronger relationship [friendship] between charlotte and hotch. i feel as though they would understand each other better since they both have their own past traumas & they can both use it to rely on each other.

that's it. thank you all so much for your love and support throughout this book series so far and i hope you all enjoy what i have planned in the upcoming chapters! there may be some chaos, and there may be some hatred from you guys, but you guys will forgive me soon, i know it ;). anyways, i love you all, so so so damn much. you all mean the absolute world to me and i would be nowhere without you all. mwah. <3
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