설탕

...........𝐸𝓁𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃...........

To say that Chan was frustrated was an understatement.

Not only was he rudely awakened at six in the morning when they didn't even have to be in the studio until nine, but the smaller Aussie had escaped his arms sometime within the night (no note or explanation but from the fact that Jisung and Seungmin also were missing, it was reasonable to conclude that Felix was upset... Which made the alpha feel worse) and then he was pulled from the dorm at seven by Manager-nim for a "company debriefing" (in reality, he was sat in a chair for two hours being scolded and talked down to by his superiors; he felt alone, betrayed, and bitter when his Manager apologized for his "reckless and foolish behavior" and assured, with a swift but nonetheless stern glare at Chan, "that such irresponsibility will never happen again").

"The next time I tell you to just nod your head and listen, I expect you to do it."

Chan grits his teeth, arms crossed and refusing to face the man speaking to him in the driver's seat.

"You can be mad at me all you want, you can disagree with me all you want, but I never want to hear you talk back to the company like that again; they are still older than you, still your superiors, I know that both I and your parents have taught you better than that."

He exhales harshly through his nostrils, the hold on his biceps tightening with his contained anger.

"You're lucky they didn't suspend you right then and there, or worse, kick you out completely-"

"So it is better for me to pretend like what I did was so wrong? To let them treat me like an insolent child after the eleven years of blood, sweat, and tears I put into this company?" Chan finally snaps, hands flying through the air before landing in clenched fists in his lap, "Because I did something they didn't approve, I'm suddenly just another disposable and replaceable trainee." He lets out a sharp, wry laugh. "But God forbid that I don't bite my tongue and show them respect. God forbid that I don't spend the rest of my life hiding my true self from the world. I'll just stay quiet next time, yup; I'll just sit there and watch as one of my pack members has his dream, life, and happiness ripped away from him in a moment's notice for not being the average beta idol. That's what you want, right? For me to be a coward? I guess not being straight in such an old-fashioned industry really is a death wish: years of loyalty, hard work, and dedication... gone, swoosh, down the drain."

Manager-nim had stayed quiet throughout his outburst, just staring blankly at the road ahead with an exhausted pull to his thin lips. He waits a minute as Chan simmers down, slumping back in the passenger's seat and recrossing his arms as he waits for the man's response (or lack thereof). "Are you done?" He finally asks.

Chan's brows furrow deeply at the condescending question, another self-righteous monologue on the tip of his tongue before his manager raises a hand in a gesture to hold off and listen.

"It is a yes or no, Chan-ah. If it's a yes, then I will tell you why I'm not supporting the mighty action you took yesterday. If it's a no, then I will sit here and let you have your little tantrum until you come to your senses and realize that just because somebody is coming off as harsh, doesn't mean that they are against you; I'll let your alpha pride rant until your heart's content."

His mouth shuts reluctantly, feelings of humiliation and resentment tumbling through his chest.

Manager-nim sighs in subtle relief. "Now, while you were getting all defensive in the conference, I was on the phone with Yongbok-ah..."

Chan stiffens before his disbelief twisted into frustration once again, "You knew exactly why I did it yet you still-"

The hand patiently rose back up. Chan frowned but fell quiet once again.

"I know you had good intentions, I know that you were just trying to protect Felix but," he sends a look to Chan, one that is reprimanding and lacking the previous sympathy, "the way you went about it was a stupid, spur of the moment, half-thought plan that could have gotten you in a lot more trouble than the kid ever would have been in."

"How could you say that?! Being bisexual is a lot different than coming out as a male omega! My reputation is more stable and I have greater rapport with the company; in theory, if a rumor was to break out, it would be less harmful to me than Felix!"

"Having a single person suggest a rumor in the comment section of a live video broadcast is a lot different than an idol not only explicitly stating their bisexuality, but also describing their crush on another man-"

"Oh I get it," Chan scoffs, "It's because I came out; I thought you would be supportive but I should have known bet-"

"Don't," the elder groans, giving an unamused eye roll, "I'm not homophobic; you know better than that. Felix, Minho, and even Hyunjin have always been pretty open with subtle hints of their sexuality and I have never shut them down before; the difference is that they aren't directly telling the camera."

"Well it sure seems like it to me... You've done nothing but criticize me since I said it-"

"Christopher Bang, I'm not angry or judging you because you like men and women-"

"Then you're angry that Felix is an ome-"

"No, just close your mouth and listen right now!" The patient man finally snaps, a red glint to his eyes that instantly has Chan submitting; he deflates when the younger shrinks in on himself. "I love you both, you know that right? All of you guys are like my kids at this point: and the father figure in me is proud of you for being yourself and is supportive of your orientation and presentation but, at the end of the day, I am still your manager. And the manager in me needs to stop being loving and supportive during every little mishap when it comes to the good of the group. You, Bang Chan, need to realize that the situation yesterday could have been handled so much better: a little comment made, without any proof or evidence or support in numbers, was not going to gain so much traction that it will create a smear on Yongbok-ah's career. We could have ignored it or, if they ended up making a bigger fuss about it, just have denied the allegations. Unless he was going to admit it right there on camera that the accusation was correct, there was no reason for you to get involved with a fact we literally couldn't cover up or deny. I can't fix this, I can't prevent the backlash you're going to receive and I can't protect you from those old, traditionalist hags running the company."

Chan is quiet for a few moments before he mumbles, "I don't need protecting. As a leader, I knew what I was doing and that was looking out for the wellbeing of my pack-"

"But you weren't thinking as a leader," Manager-nim shakes his head, a knowing look in his eyes, "You were thinking as an alpha."