Chapter Fifty-One: The Letter

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Tallethea

For a long time, I sat on my bed. In shock of what just happened, what might have happened, and what might never happen again. Somehow, the ringing silence was enough for me to fully grasp...But what? What did I know of that?

My body seemed more in control than my brain, and a second later I was at my door, his shirt in my hand. But as I stepped into the hallway, I froze. Then I was back in my room, and that felt a little better, until I saw the bed. So, I went back out into the hall. But I didn't know where he went. This happened for a while until I resolved to find him. There was no plan for what I was going to say, or do, but it felt wrong to sit by. He came to me when I had my nightmare, I could go to him while he fought through his.

Going to the table, I grabbed the clothes Delphie had set out for me and started to dress. It was a nice set of black riding pants and a forest green vest. The shirt she brought was too small, so, after some deliberation, I slid on the one Lansing left behind. Having just tugged on my last boot, and strapped my belt, I noticed Arlyn's letter resting on the nightstand. It was open within seconds and read:

Thea,

I am out of options. Rughwen is here. I wager by the time you read this letter war will already have begun. If luck is on my side, and Cassida, then maybe Tusiedor will survive.

But, dear friend, we both know luck has never been on my side. That's why I need you, Thea. Stay with him until this is over and keep him safe. Don't breathe a word of this to anyone, especially Lansing. He'll hate me enough as it is when he finds out I've damned his head to the crown. Did I tell you I miss you? I'll miss you still. Don't come home. Tell my brother I love him, that I'm sorry, and he was always meant to be King. Let's slay our final dragon together. I'll meet you in the garden.

Your friend and brother,

Arlyn.

I dropped the letter to the ground and tore out of the room, knocking over a small side table by the door in the process. Saorla's piece of glass and a ceramic vase tottered from it when I crashed to the floor. Water spilled out of the broken vase; white flowers clumped on the ground. I had tripped over the bedsheets lying by my feet and rammed into the table with my side. Careless of my screaming ribs and the glass, my feet were up and racing once more. Down the hall and over the stairs, I flew until my feet landed in the foyer. Everything in the world was shrinking.

Delphie was looking at me from the side room as she was dusting and shouted at me as I threw the front doors open.

"Tallethea?" She sped across the room, "Where are you going? What's wrong?"

Noticing that above the mantle where she had been dusting, there were two swords mounted in an 'x' I nudged her aside and pulled them down. Strapping one through my belt and holding the other in my hand. Her green eyes went wide with horror, which tells me that these were probably the Kings. But my King was in danger, and that was all I had to know.

"Listen to me Delphie, and promise me that from this moment on you will do exactly as I say?" My eyes were digging into hers violently. "Stay here with Lansing. Do not, under any circumstances, let him leave. Even if..." The words caught in my throat, "Even if you have to use force."

"Tallethea!" She shook her head, but I cut her off and continued with my instructions.

"I have received orders from the King. Do not tell the prince where I am going. Do not tell him I will return. Just say that--please, this is important-- Say that I'm sorry and it has to be this way. Say..."

Breath was escaping me, and I couldn't get my thoughts together enough to make decisions. I just need to act, that thrill of adrenaline coursing through me again. The fight was here, and I was ready for it. But I would be betraying both brothers if I did this. I would be leaving Lansing, trapping him in another room, abandoning him. But If I didn't go, Arlyn could die, Tuisedor would fall. Wasn't that what that letter was? A goodbye?

No. I would not be kept away while he was sacrificed. I would not let him fight without me at his back. Lansing was safer without me here. That much I could say was true. If Saorla was out there still looking for me, at least I would be leading her away from him. Protecting him, even if it seemed like I wasn't.

"What?" Delphie was gaping at me for stopping mid-sentence.

I'd do it all again. I swallowed, "Nothing. Tell him nothing at all. I just left and you don't know why. All I said was that Lansing needs to stay here until he hears from his brother. There's a letter in my room, I need you to fetch it and burn it before Lansing sees."

"Tallethea, you are in no condition—" Delphie moved forward like she was going to touch me, but I was already pushing through the door.

A few moments later, and I had found the stables, where an old crotchety horse was my only option. We took off at a full sprint that jolted every broken part. My chest was burning with a familiar sweetness. Though dampened by the hurt of leaving him behind, it was afire with the promise of a fight.

Maybe I wasn't the best soldier, but I was a hellish fighter and that has always been my purpose. This was Arlyn's first war, but it wasn't mine and I refused to let him go through it alone. Even if he was going to be furious with me for leaving. It's not like I ever listened to him before anyway.

Thoughts of my mother being in danger surfaced, making me press harder into the stirrups as the horse raced over the King's Road like a storm. Its breath puffed out in hard and violent pants, but kept a fast pace

As for Lansing, he'd be angry, but he'd be alive. And alone if Arlyn and I don't come back. I thought about my promise not to leave him behind in the cathedral, our moment earlier, and it stung deep into my chest. There was no excusing a broken promise.

Either way, this was my choice to make. One that I vowed to make the day I joined the army and became friends with Arlyn; I would always protect my King. Especially when he was the closest thing I had to a brother. That loyalty could not be violated or ignored. Even by my feelings for Lansing. And if I survived this...but no, it's wiser not to look beyond those words. They can only guarantee pain, and I have had enough of that.

By late evening I arrived in Tuisedor. The streets empty and silent as I dove into my house, yelling for my mother. After searching every room and finding it empty, pictures of the forest haunting me in each step, I stopped in the front room. My father's sword hung on the mantle above a dead fire. It stung to look at it, but I ripped it from its place anyway, dropping the one I had in my hand to the floor. Then I went in search of the war.

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