chapter one ~

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⚠️ Mentions of blood ⚠️

"Mom, what's taking dad so long?" I ask out of curiosity.

"He's getting everyone's food, he'll be out in a minute." She told me while still looking down at her phone.

I decided that I wouldn't ask any more questions and just continue to read a book that I bought not too long ago. As I continue reading I get more and more caught up in the book that barely notice my mother calling my name.

"Aurora..aurora! AURORA" my mother yelled out the last part while looking straight at me.

"Sorry, yes mother?"

"I asked you what kind of ice cream flavor you wanted?"

"Oh um I'll just take a chocolate 'n vanilla swirl ice cream AND I want it in a waffle cone" I announced with a smile on my face.

"Alrighty, also try not to get too caught up in those books okay?" She joked

"I know, I know"

I grabbed my headphones out of my bag and plugged them into my phone. I put on some music and continued to read. A few minutes went by and my dad was now in the car giving my mom and I our food. I instantly dug in and thanked him.

It was now a little after 3 pm and my dad was driving on the road back to our house. We were also coming back from a camping trip with my mom and dad's friends. To be honest I missed my bed.

"Oh my god dad look! I finished the puzzle!" I said trying to get him to look back at me. "DAD!" I yelled he finally looked back towards me but soon after my mom screamed. It all went in slow motion. The big blue truck slammed into our car directly on my dad's side. Our car flipped over multiple times before finally stopping.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I could barely move. But when I did I saw blood coming from my dad's mouth while my mom was in shock. "dad" I cried out while the sirens of the police and firefighter's cars got louder and louder.

After that everything went black.

I shot up from my nightmare as I quickly gasped for air while I stared at the wall that was a few feet in front of me. I rubbed my face and got up out of bed walking to the bathroom. I stared in the mirror frowning at what I saw in the reflection.

I quickly brushed my hair back and did my facial routine as well as brushing my teeth. I went back into my room and put on an outfit for the day.

I guess I should introduce myself a bit

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I guess I should introduce myself a bit. Hey, I'm Aurora, and I'm 15 years old. I don't have a lot of friends besides my friend dawn who I've known since I was 13. I do get a bit lonely sometimes since I am the only child and my mom is always working. I live in Los Angeles California. Hyland Park to be exact. I moved here when I was 12 years old. Two years after my dad died in a car crash that I believe I was the reason for. I mean if I never tried to show him a stupid puzzle that I completed he would have still been here today.

I blame myself every day for his death. My mom tells me 24/7 that I wasn't the cause for it but I still can't accept that. At least not yet I mean I've been blaming myself for 6 whole years. My dad was my first ever best friend. I loved him with everything in me. I just...I just feel like I failed him and that he deserved someone better.


At the age of 12, I was diagnosed with PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety. It's a lot to take in I know and I'm still not used to it. I don't think I ever will be. It is hard waking up every day knowing that it's just gonna be like yesterday or the day before. Weekends go by way too fast and weekdays don't go by fast enough.

Sometimes I question why I'm doing all of this, some days are harder than others and when they are I just feel like breaking down and that's exactly what I do. The Anxiety that I have doesn't help either.

Sometimes I get these episodes where I just zone out and I think about the car crash and my father's death. I want them to stop but they don't. I never told anyone about them besides Dawn. She tells me all the time that she's worried about my mental health but everyone says that. I'm tired of everyone. At times I do wonder what it would feel like to go to sleep and never wake up again. But I guess that's just my mind talking and not doing it.

I would say my escape to the world is reading. I've been in love with reading my whole life, I love when I find the perfect book and I never want to put it down. My mother even tells me that I probably read way too much. She would punish me by taking away my books whenever I did something bad.

I've also have always been very smart. I would get honor roll student every year in all of my classes. Not to mention that every class that I am in is for smart kids besides two.

I've now made it to school. Not to mention I did rant the whole way here. The doors open up in 10 minutes so I decided I would look around for Dawn. As I continue to walk a bit more I spot her and she immediately spots me as well.

"Hey, aurora" dawn greeted me.

"Hey, how long have you been out here for?" I asked calmly.

"Oh I got here around 7:30, my mom had to be at work a little earlier today"

"Okay, so what's going on with you and Claire?" I smirked at my friend for a little over 2 years.

"No, stop! Nothing is going on!" She defended herself.

"So you're gonna tell me you guys haven't been giving each other the look for over 2 weeks now?" I giggled.

"Nope that's it" and with that, she chased me around the whole school until we made it to the front again.

"You're so lucky the doors opened and that we have class in a little over a minute," she mumbled.

"Yeah, yeah whatever."

I grabbed her hand and dragged her to the first class we had together.

A/N

How do we feel about this chapter? Thoughts?

This is honestly coming out so good like I am so proud of myself. This did take a while to write but I'm in love with it!

I think I will be introducing Billie in the 3rd chapter I'm not completely sure yet!

But don't forget to vote!

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