changed || (loki x reader)

eight

You hear a strange grunting noise as you enter the gardens that night. You walk in to find Loki punching the hedge, leaves falling loose and dropping to the ground.

"What did that bush ever do to you?" You ask with a laugh, but he doesn't respond.

"Loki? Are you okay?" Your voice becomes more serious as he doesn't respond yet again. He slides down the hedge, sitting back against it. You come over and sit next to him.

He looks to you, anger and sadness in his eyes. "Why aren't you scared of me Y/N? I'm a monster!"

You look up into his emerald eyes. "Because I know you, Loki. You've been nothing but kind to me. You're not a mons-"

"Yes I am!" He yells at me. His skin shimmers into a cool blue color, his eyes glowing a fierce red. There were strange, yet fascinating markings along his face. He stays that way for a second before shifting back into his normal self. "Look at me! Look how hideous, how disgraceful I am," he breathed.

"You're... Jotun?" You ask, amazed. In that form he was almost beautiful, and definitely just as handsome. Though you wouldn't admit either fact to yourself, or him.

"How do you even know what that is?" He was looking at the ground, and you could almost see the rage bubbling inside of him.

"The books, in my room. I've read all of them, thanks to you." You offer a smile but he still stares at the ground.

"I was lied to my whole life. I was adopted by Odin because Laufey didn't want a runt like me. I was never accepted in Asgard because I'm too different. Who wants a frost giant sitting on the throne? I don't belong anywhere. I'm a monster."

You shake your head, placing a hand on his. He looks down at it before he looks up into your eyes. "That's horrible, Loki. No one deserves that. Least of all you. I've spent enough time with you to trust you, and I believe you truly aren't a monster."

"That's not true, Y/N! I don't know what you see in me, but it's not actually there. Everyone else knows what I am. Odin doesn't even want me to tarnish you with my 'manipulative' and 'ill-intentioned' ways." He rose his voice again, snatching his hand back from under yours.

"What are you talking about Loki?"

"He yelled at me because 'I shouldn't be teaching such a vulnerable and powerful Asgardian warrior like Y/N.' My frost giant self might manipulate or ruin your developing powers." His voice grew quieter, and he flinches slightly as you place your hand back on his, but he doesn't move it again.

"Well, Odin can suck it. No amount of persuasion from you can change my mind that you're a good person. If you weren't, you wouldn't admit all the bad things you've done in the past. Only a person who has grown to develop good morals can do that. And for the record, I think your Jotun form is actually quite incredible."

He looks up at you and you give his hand a slight comforting squeeze. Just when you think you've convinced him, he looks back at the ground, shaking his head. "No, no!"

"Loki," you start, but he interrupts you.

He stands up suddenly, throwing your hand off his yet again. "No. You don't understand Y/N. I'm not a good influence. I'm just going to destroy the only friendship that's mattered to me in a long time and I don't want to betray you."

"Loki!" You call out as he storms off. Didn't want to betray you, huh? Well, maybe he did simply by just walking off after you did everything in your power to comfort him.

Loki POV~

I felt bad. Truly I did. I admired Y/N. She's the only person in a long time who's ever understood me, trusted me. But it seemed too good to be true. I knew it wasn't going to last. I was growing feelings for her, an extremely, extremely rare occurrence. I wanted to tell her, more than anything. But sooner or later she was going to realise how terrible I really was. The astonishment in her eyes when she saw my Jotun form, there was no way that could've been real. I just- had to end it before it hurt either of us any more.

I ignore the worried glances from Thor and Mother as I rush past them into my room. That was it.

 I had lost Y/N. 

A/N~

dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn

hope you enjoyed this chapter heheh idk why but I enjoyed writing it

it's always a lot easier and more fun to write the interesting dramatic stuff ya know?

anyway please vote and comment if you enjoyed, have a fantastic day, and I'll see you in the next chapter (which I might be writing now before I lose my ideas haha)