But you'll forever be my only one | SOPE (YOONSEOK) FANFIC

•PART ONE•

Yoongi just came back from a funeral. Whose? His best friend's. Jung Hoseok, the man who was literally the human form of sunshine.

Yoongi sat on his bed,his hands trembled almost as much as his lips did. There were trails of tears running down his cheeks.

He had an envelope in his hands. He wanted to open it and read whatever was in it, but at the same time he felt too weak to do that. Maybe he knew that whatever was inside would haunt him for the rest of his life, or maybe a part of him was disgusted at himself for being responsible for causing this situation.

He let himself go back to the past through his thoughts. He remembered every little detail about Hoseok. He remembered how they met, how they got close, how they became inseparable and how he excluded Hoseok in the end.

Now he was determined to open the envelope. He wanted to know what his Hobi had to say to him. He ripped an end of the envelope with shivering hands. He let out a sigh as he opened the letter in it. He read the first line, "To my one and only Suga". He found it difficult to read through the tears that were forming in his eyes. He wiped them and forced himself to continue.

"To my one and only Suga.

Hi. This is your sunshine, Hobi. Or atleast someone who was once your sunshine.

When you're reading this, I probably won't be around. I might be somewhere far.

To be honest I hate being away from you! Cuz every second I got to spend with you was special to me. I know you probably don't feel the same way about me, but I thought I should let you know.

Anyways my purpose of writing this letter is not to make you hate yourself or to make you feel guilty about anything. I'm writing this is to make you aware of my feelings that I never would've expressed if I were alive.

If you haven't guessed what it is yet, I LIKE YOU MIN YOONGI. Not as a friend or a brother. I like you as a partner, like the person I wanna spend the rest of my life with. You're literally what made me wanna keep living. You were my only reason to stay alive. It wouldn't be an exaggeration if I said you're my whole world, cuz you really are <3

When did I fall for you? I'm not too sure. Maybe the first time I set my eyes on you? Or maybe the first time we hung out? I dont know!! But I do know that before long I caught myself thinking about you, a looot!!!

I think you had a special spot in my heart from the very first conversation we've had. Do you remember the day we both transferred to this school in the same year!!! We ended up sticking together cuz we were both the newbies...

I felt happy that I wasn't the lonely kid who is likely to get bullied by the "cool and popular" kids. I felt safe around you even though I barely knew you. I wanted to get closer to you somehow and I surprised myself when I did.

I think I was the one to say hi first. You gave me a faint 'hi' back, smiling a fake smile. You looked like a really timid person at that time, forcing yourself to talk to me. It took me a little longer to find out that you're way more fierce than you look. Your looks really play tricks on others, you know?

But I felt so thankful to have you next to me and I wanted to do everything I could to just be around you all the time, but that clearly was a failed attempt.

I did so much to just be around you. I'm pretty sure you never realized.... I made situations look like coincidences. I made sure I used every opportunity to start a conversation with you. It took a lot of time and effort, but it was definitely worth it.

From then on you became the person I treasured the most in my life. Your existence literally made my life a million times better. I reached a point where I was ready to sell my soul to see your beautiful gummy smile everyday [but luckily I was able to see it without having to sell my soul haha].

Everything was going great in my life, but suddenly things started to go downhill. I don't know how and why you started drifting away from me. I would've done anything to become a better person for you, but you never told me what I did wrong. I didn't care to ask either. But I regret doing that . I wish I asked you what was wrong. I wish at least one of us came forward to fix our friendship, but neither one of us cared enough I guess.

To make things worse, you saw me with that girl who accused me of bullying. Never in my worst nightmare did I think that you would believe her when she said I did that to her. I didn't know you trusted me only that much.
That was undoubtedly the worst moment in my life. I felt like a failure. I couldn't even convince my best friend of my innocence. I wish I had the courage to explain to you what actually happened in detail, but unfortunately I'm a coward. I couldn't do it.

I want you to know that I could never hurt someone. I would never harm anyone for anything. I hope you acknowledge that. I hope you don't see me as a disgusting bully anymore.

I'm sorry I disappointed you that day. I'm sorry I'm such a coward. I'm sorry I didn't have a strong heart. Most importantly, I'm sorry for having feelings for you. I shouldn't have felt that way towards my best friend.

I know how shocked you must be right now, but believe me when I say I was just as shocked even though they're my own feelings. I was so confused, and me being me, I probably would never be able to tell you all this when I'm alive.

Things at home didn't make things any easier. Everything just messed me up, all at once.

Again, this is not to make you feel bad. This is my final attempt of opening up to you. This is my final attempt of letting you know how I feel about you. You should know that I miss you. Wherever I am right now, I miss you so damn much.

Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for existing.

I love you.

You'll forever be my only one.

- Yours once sunshine, Hobi.

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A/n: Is the chapter too long?