Your HBC Dream

cuddles

Heyy, so for this chapter im probably gonna cry writing this lol. Im on my period and it feels like im getting stabbed with knives in my back and stomach DKHJKFL

Anyways, this chapter will be based of what i want and feel like right now :)

My mental health is killing me lol

Anyways im writing this on my laptop so dont come after me for any spelling mistakes

Enjoy reading this <3

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!!!! suicide, self harm, depression, anxiety, blood, panic attack !!!!

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It's currently 3 AM, and i'm still not asleep. I'm tired asf, and i have school tomorrow but i feel numb and down all the time. I'm scared to go to school because people make fun of me. My anxiety is worse then ever. But i cant tell anyone. I cant tell Zoe, or Lisa and i can defenitly not tell Helena. She's always been the best for me since i got adopted, but i dont want her to tell about my current situation. Helena is already anxious enough and i dont want her to be scared because of my mental health. She's defenitly worried, cause she asks me all the time if im okay.

Right now i havent slept for 3 whole days. Im so tired but i just can't.

10 minutes later i heard knocking on my door. I thought it was Helena making sure im okay again, so i pretented that i was asleep. I heard someone opening my door.

FUCK i forgot to turn of my led lights

I heard footsteps coming closer to me, untill i heard a voice that wasnt Helena's. It was Nell's.

'y/n, i know that your awake, do you uhm.. do you wanna talk?'

'Nell, please go to bed you should be asleep right now, if mom finds out about this she's gonna kill us..'

'No, she alreadys knows. She knows about everything. About cutting yourself in the bathroom.. About you staying awake every night, crying while sitting in the window, crying and thinking about if you should jump or not..

The cold wind flying around you, making your hair dance in the pale moonlight.

She knows about almost everything, and she is so worried about you y/n.. And i am too..'

Your younger sister worrying about you.. you have never experienced that. Well maybe because in your first household, you were a only child.

'Please, Nell dont worry about me and tell mom that too, now please go to bed you should be asleep.'

'No y/n, I dont want to lose you, okay? Even if we dont carry the same blood in our bodies i love you. I always wanted a sister and now i finally have one. Please can i maybe stay with you tonight? Im so scared to lose you and i just cant.. I cant lose you y/n. I cant..' She said sobbing into your shoulder.

It broke your heard, but it gave you more reasons to stay.

The words repeating in your head while Nell finally fell asleep in your arms hugging.

You placed her next to you, so you could finally breath again and think about what all just happened.

How did they found out that i cutted my arms open in the bathroom? Are there camera's in there? No of course not its a bathroom y/n dont be stupid. But how.. How did they find out? All you wear are oversized hoodies and sweatpants. There is no possible way for them to find out. But still.. they did.

Flashback

It was 2 days ago. On a saturday. All you did was cry in your room thinking about your life. You went to the bathroom to take a shower. You walked into the bathroom, whenyou see a pair of scissors. Should i? you think. Without anymore thinking you reached for the scissors and immediatly you cut yourself open. Tears fall down your cheeks. Blood is all over the place. You dont want to stay here. All though you love your family and friends you hated your life. You just want to end it all.