Us (Bellarke Fanfic)

[chapter thirty four - bellamy]

I don't blame her for leaving. 

She's completely right - she sees me in the elevator with a girlfriend, then I show up at the park and kiss her? What was I thinking?

That I wanted her. 

And I don't regret it. 

The only problem is, we haven't talked about it. When we got home, Octavia put on a movie and sat between us on the couch, and we've been sitting here ever since. 

But I can't stop thinking about her. 

She tasted like cinnamon, for whatever reason. 

I shiver, trying to focus on the movie. 

Her lips were so soft. 

Focus on the movie. 

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Octavia exclaims suddenly, jumping off the couch and pausing the TV. "I made food. Sort of. Lincoln and I made food."

"Edible food?" Clarke asks. Octavia nods, rushing into the kitchen. 

As soon as she's gone, I turn to Clarke. 

"Do you want to-" I start, but Octavia cuts in before I have the chance to finish. 

"Bellamy, did you move the green container from... oh, never mind, found it!"

Seconds later, she returns, holding the green container in her hands. 

"What'd you make?" Clarke asks. 

"Here," Octavia replies, holding the container out to Clarke. She takes one, then Octavia passes the container to me. 

Cinnamon buns. 

How ironic. 

"You gonna take one?" she asks. Hesitantly, I reach inside and grab one, and Octavia plops back onto the couch. She flicks on the movie, happily chewing. 

I glare at the cinnamon bun for a long moment. It feels like it's taunting me, as stupid as that sounds. 

"You can't eat it by staring at it," Octavia whispers, nudging me with her elbow. "You good?"

"Are you doing this on purpose?" I reply quietly. I glance at Clarke, who sits undisturbed beside Octavia. The movie is loud enough to drown out my conversation with my sister. 

"What do you mean?" Octavia asks. Then her eyes widen. "Oh my gosh, did something happen? I mean, I figured you two weren't fighting anymore, but did-"

"It's fine," I say, forcing myself to take a bite and return to watching the movie. 

What if I don't get to kiss her again? 

I glance back at Octavia to see that she's still staring at me. 

"What?" I hiss. 

"You know what," she says, standing up. "I just remembered I'm supposed to hang out with Lincoln. Will you two be fine on your own? Great, see you later."

Without another word, she shoots me a sly smile and skips from the room. 

She leaves behind a wake of silence, in which I stare intently at the half eaten cinnamon bun in my hand. 

"I don't know what to think," Clarke says finally. I glance at her, breathing deeply. 

"You kissed me back, didn't you?" I ask, trying my best to keep my voice even. Clarke frowns. 

"Yes, I- But- that's not the point. The point is that you can't just show up at the park and kiss me out of nowhere without explaining anything!"

"I told you," I argue. "I broke up with Echo, and-"