Us (Bellarke Fanfic)

[chapter thirty three - clarke]

The second I hear Bellamy's door close, I slip out of my room.

I need to talk to someone - specifically Octavia. I need to sort through what I'm feeling and figure out what I should do about it. 

"Octavia?" I ask, poking my head into the living room. Sure enough, Octavia is sprawled out on the couch. She pauses the TV, raising her eyebrows. "Can I, um, talk to you?" 

"Is it therapy day or something?" she mumbles. 

"What?"

"Nothing," she says quickly. "What's wrong?"

What am I gonna tell her? That I'm jealous of Echo and I think I have a crush on her brother? 

"Did Bellamy, uh, talk to you about Echo?" I ask, rubbing the back of my neck. 

Octavia sighs. "I don't want to talk about this with you. If you have something to tell him, go talk to him."

"I can't talk to him!" I exclaim. "I don't know what to say, or what to do, or if-"

Octavia holds up a hand, silencing me. 

"Since apparently I'm the official dumb decision preventer of this household, I'm going to give you one piece of advice."

I nod eagerly. 

"I'm not the one you should be talking to about this," Octavia says, frowning slightly. "You need your best friend."

Raven. 

"She's mad at me," I mumble. As much as I want to talk to her, she'd never listen. "She won't return any of my calls."

"Apparently I have to be captain obvious, too," Octavia says, rolling her eyes. "You know where she lives, right? Go to her house, make her listen."

"Go to her house?" I repeat. 

I guess I could. There's a bus that passes by every half hour. 

"Okay, I'll go to her house," I decide. "Then I'll make her come to the park with me, so I can run away if she, like, brings a knife or something."

"Very optimistic," Octavia says sarcastically. "Now get going before you change your mind."

"You're the best," I say, already turning to leave. 

"Can I get that in writing?" she calls after me. I laugh, already halfway to the elevator. 

I'm going to make Raven listen to me. 

I miss my best friend. 

---

The moment of silence after I knock on Raven's door is terrifying. 

I know she's home, unless she decided to go on a date with Wick. If she answers, I'll have to face her. I'll know exactly what she thinks of me, and I'll have to convince her to forgive me. 

If she doesn't answer...

That would be bad. 

"Come on Raven," I whisper, biting my lip to distract myself. 

After a long, painful pause, the door swings open.

Raven is on the other side, with dark circles under her eyes and a messy ponytail keeping her hair from her face. 

There are so many thoughts trying to push their way past my lips, but only one makes it through. 

"I think I like Bellamy," I blurt out.