Gem in the Rough

Chapter 32

I turn left on the road towards Stacey's office, lowering the volume in my car. I called her on Wednesday morning asking if she could see me on Friday afternoon, a couple of weeks early. She knows I wouldn't ask unless it was important, so here I am.

I pull into the parking lot and take a deep breath. I'm not here during my usual week and I know the receptionist will notice. I'm not planning on going to see my dad afterwards, either. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

Walking into the building, I'm greeted by Sue with a smile.

"Gemma! I saw you on the schedule, dear. Doing okay?"

"Um, not really to be honest. I'll be okay though. I just need my Stacey fix." I laugh it off. We make small talk as I lean against the desk since I'm the only person waiting. I'm the last appointment this afternoon, just like usual. A few minutes pass and then Stacey calls for me. She apologizes for the delay, saying she had to finish notes from her last appointment.

I walk into her office and sit on the couch, laying down and propping my head up.

"Oh no, this is serious," Stacey observes. I never lay down on the couch. She also knows her attempt to make me laugh is just what I need.

"Yep. You ready for the soap opera shit I'm about to lay on you?"

Thirty minutes later, I'm done telling the story of what's happened with me and Kieran over the last two weeks and of our trip to his hometown. I tell her about my mom and Jillian, and how she was my twin. I explain how I don't know where to go from here and how to confront my father. I tell her that I'm not sure if I should reach out to my mom or how. The word vomit suddenly stops when I notice I've been going on for so long. I sit up on the couch and blush.

"Sorry, I'll stop. How are you feeling after all of that?" I chuckle nervously, rubbing my arm.

It was a lot for me to process and I'm guessing it is for Stacey too. She's known me a long time and learning something like this is shocking.

"Well, I'm fine, thanks for asking. You don't have to worry about me though. I'm the only therapist in this room, Gemma. At least for now," she smiles, and I grin back. Making sure other people are okay is one of my personality traits, I can't help it.

"That's a lot to take in, Gemma. I can't imagine what you're thinking and feeling. Though, you telling me about it gave me somewhat of an idea. In the perfect world, how would this turn out for you?'

Her question stumps me because I honestly don't know.

"I don't know."

We sit in silence for a few moments while I think. In school they've taught us that silence can help people process and it allows for them to speak freely or continue from previous thoughts. A big part of a therapist's job is to listen and help people process, so that's what Stacey is doing with me. I know this, but it still works.

"In a perfect world, this wouldn't have happened. I would have been able to know my sister and my parents would be together. I wouldn't have so many issues, at least I hope not. But of course, I have to work with what I've got," I sigh.

"I want to talk to my dad and have him tell me the truth about why he did this. I want us to still have a relationship, though we don't have much of one now, but I'm just so furious with him. I want a relationship with my mom too, but I'm also angry with her. I need to know more about Jillian. Kieran is helping with that. He has a lot of stories about her. Kieran has been incredible and we're working through this together. It was a shock to him, too. Like seriously, what were the odds of us meeting and this happening?