Left Me || Dreamnotfound

Chapter 11

TWs: mention of self harm, blood, breakdown
George Pov

I was lying on my bed for 15 minutes, when it hit me. WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO?! I looked at my arm in shock, just to see very swollen red lines.

I started to panic, WHAT THE FUCK?!

I walked around my room and just completely broke down.

I sat on the floor of my room. Just crying. I was feeling so bad. I knew that it was such a bad thing to cut yourself but at the same time i felt kind of good.

I couldn't describe it. Right now i was a mix of complete panic over what i had done and a good feeling.

I was still crying, i don't know how long i was sitting there. But i was brought back to reality by a sound my pc.

I switched the monitor on and looked where the notification came from.

Dream is Live

I felt tears rolling back into my eyes.

I knew that Clay had made a Twitch account like half a year ago. He always wanted to be a streamer, just like i also wanted to be a streamer.

My mind rolled back into toughts.

(Flashback from half a year ago)
"Look George, i finally made a twitch account", Clay said to him excited.

"Wooo les goo", George said back and they both burst out in laughter.

"When do you want to start streaming?", George asked Clay.

"Idk, but i want you to be in my first stream", he smiled back.

"Really?", George said excited.

"Yes, I promise", Clay said and the laughed.

(eND oF FLaShBaCK)

George snapped out of the memories and noticed that he had been crying, his vision was blurry, but he still pressed onto the notification.

It opened up Twitch on Clay's profile.

He saw the 'Starting soon' we worked ln together. I felt tears running down my cheeks and i wiped them away.

I cuddled up on my chair and just stared at the monitor. It had started to rain outside and the raindrops where silently tapping against my window.

I plugged in my headphones and put them on. Waiting for anything to happen on the stream.

I was starting to doze off, just listening to the rain and looking at the 'starting soon' on my screen.

I was almost asleep, when i heard a voice.

"Hello everyone, welcome to the stream", It was Clay. I opened my eyes again and looked at my screen. I saw the minecraft startscreen.

"Soo, this is my first stream", He said.

Clay went onto multiplayer and joined a server called 'Nick's Server'

I gulped and felt tears come up to my eyes again.

"Wow, what- 50 viewers, thats crazy its just my first stream", he said. I could hear the excitement in his voice.

Suddenly i heard a discord sound from the stream and so.eone unmuted.

"Yeah, i told some people and posted it on my twitter", someone said...Nick.

"Yooo thanks bro", Clay said and started to walk around in the world.

He had a lot of stuff already, which meant that he had played for quite some time.

"Ok, so for information. I'm Clay but on stream i prefer my user, Dream. I will be playing with my best friend Nick today and maybe some other friends will join later too.", he finished.

I started to cry slightly but soon i was sitting on my chair crying more and more.

Clays stream seemed to go pretty well. I tought about the good times, where we where still best friends. Where i didn't ruin everthing. I suddenly felt happy, happier than in a long time.

I always felt happy when i was wkth Clay. Just not in the last few days. I did know that I still had feelings for him. I still loved him so so much. I loved him and i hated myself for that.

As fast as i had felt happy i felt sad and awfull again.

What if he left me because he found out that I liked him. What if he still wanted to be friends with the others but he left our friendgroup because of me?

I was crying so hard that i fell of my chair. I hit my head on the edge of my pc and as i started to get up again i suddenly felt my eyes rolling back into my head. Before i knew it i fell onto the floor and passes out.

"George- GEORGE?!", i heard a muffled voice. I groaned and sat up. I rubbed my head and when i looked at my hand i saw some blood on my fingers.

I looked up, but i couldn't make out who it was. I was feeling lightheaded, as if i was going to pass out again.

"George, it's me, Darryl", a sweet voice said. "I already called the others they are gonna be here soon"

"I- no, what happened?", i said confused.

"I think you fell of your chair and hit your head on your pc, here i got a wet towel you can put it on the wound.", he said handing me the towel.

I put it on the side of my head and felt a sting in my head. I was still looking around when i remembered what had happened.

"Is Clay-"

"Yeah, he's still live." , Darryl said.

"Did you cry because of that?" he asked.

"How do you?"

"Oh, uh when I found you your whole sweater was full of tears and you had dried tears on your face"

"Oh, I-", i started but immedeately burst out in tears again.

"Aww, c'mon", he said and pulled me into a hug.

I stood up and lookes at my screen. Clay was still playing minecraft with Nick, but now he was also joined by Dave and Sam.

Bad saw my eyes filling with tears another time and he switched off my pc.

"Don't. It makes you sad.", he said and i nodded.

"Why did you come here in the first place?", I asked.

"Well Zak told me that Clay was streaming and i wanted to call you, to see if you were ok but when you didn't answer i got worried and went over to your house. Lucky i did.", he said hugging me again.