Meant To Be Together

22

TW's:
-Chemotherapy
-Throwing up

It was five days later and I was getting the results of my bone marrow biopsy today. If the results weren't good enough, I would have to start chemo again for seven to eleven days. I would also get another MRI today to check if the cancer wasn't spreading. Since I had blood cancer, the cancer was already in my whole body and bone marrow. That was the reason I had a lot of bone pain often.

Clay was always just gently massaging the places I had pain and he always kissed the places that were hurting. It was Saturday today and he was sitting on my bed behind me with his legs and arms around me.

I had been feeling slightly better now. I was getting fed through my tube and I didn't have chemo now. All my hair was now completely falling out as result of the first chemo, I was pretty much completely bald now, since I even lost my eyelashes. It would take a little longer until my other hair on my arms and legs and such would fall out too, but my eyebrows started falling out a little already. It was scary for me to see that I was losing all my hair on my body.

Clay was holding me tightly, sitting behind me as he kissed head. He was wearing his beanie too so I didn't feel alone and he got so much respect and support for that at school. It meant so much to me.

My parents were sitting by my bed too to wait for the results, but they were sitting far away so there weren't too many people around me. There were actually only one and max two people in here allowed, but since I was a kid they allowed it like this when everything was sure to be safe.

It was an hour later of me sitting in Clay's arms as the doctor came in. He smiled softly and then nodded. 'I don't really have a lot of good news, but I have some at least.'

I froze and looked at him. 'What?'

'The leukaemia cells did lower a lot, but unfortunately not enough. That means we have to give you chemo and it will be even more intense than the last one, because we will be adding a third drug. We will do that around eleven days and if it has lowered after that we can go to the next stage. We want to immediately start with the chemotherapy.'

I didn't say anything and laid back in Clay's arms. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and I started crying. It took me only five seconds to burst into tears and have them stream down my face.

'I don't want chemo again,' I whispered m.

'I understand, sweetie. I don't know how it feels, but it must be awful. But I also know that you're very strong and I know for sure you're going to beat it this time again.'

I nodded slowly and Clay kissed my head constantly. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

The doctor smiled at us. 'We will be giving you a blood transfusion first.'

They had tested some of my blood and my red blood cells were still way too low, definitely now after the chemo. I had a lot of blood transfusions and I was suddenly so glad for the healthy people donating their blood.

I let everything happen to me and an hour later my blood transfusion was finished and they were ready to start the chemotherapy. My parents had cried a lot and they had sat with me for a while and now Clay was sitting behind me again for the chemo.

Five minutes later the chemo started and the three different drugs were flowing through my body. It were the highest doses they could give me and I was just so scared for what would be happening in a few hours. I knew I would be throwing up a lot again.

I was immediately given medication against throwing up, but it never worked that well for me and I still threw up. Probably because I was on the most intense chemotherapy there was.

The chemo ended a while later and Clay looked at me. 'Shall we draw again?'

I nodded slowly and Clay smiled. He grabbed some paper and laid it down. 'I have an idea.'

I nodded and he smiled.

'We can try and draw each other, you're way too beautiful not to look at.'

I giggled shyly and Clay grabbed pencils. 'Good idea?'

I nodded and Clay and I started drawing. Since I wanted it to be perfect, I took a long while for it, but after thirty minutes to an hour later I laid down my pencil. Clay immediately understood that I was very nauseous and he laid back down, holding me in his arms. I was holding my bucket again and it took me only two minutes from there for me to throw up.

Since I had a tube in my nose, I was really afraid for it to move, but it stayed at its place for now.

After I threw up three more times and I was feeling less nauseous, I started drawing with Clay again. We finished our drawings literally hours later, but I had nothing better to do so I liked being busy.

'Shall we show it to the nurse?'

I nodded heavily. 'I want to walk.'

'Then we will go to the nurse walking, I will hold your IV pole.'

I nodded and Clay held my hand as we started walking to the hallway, I knew where my nurse was and walked there slowly. She saw me when I got close and stood up immediately.

'Did you want to walk today, George?'

I nodded and held up our drawings. 'We made each other,' I smiled shyly.

'Wow, that's amazing!'

'I love to draw him,' Clay said. 'He's so beautiful.' He pressed his lips on my cheek and smiled. 'I love him with and without hair.'

I smiled shyly and hugged him shortly. 'Thanks for being here with me. I would have given up without you.'

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