The love we share

Chapter 17

"I'll see you at home" she says and let's go of my hand and walks away.

"Soyeon somethings wrong" I say panicked.

"She's just drunk soo, let's just have some fun"

I go back where everyone is but the uneasy feeling doesn't leave me. I want to go home to  see her but this whole night it's like she's been ignoring me. What did I do shu?

..............

I end up leaving the party early I don't really care I need to see Shuhua.

"Manager, sorry to bother you but can you pick me up please"

"Yes of course where are you" he says tiredly.

"Jennies" I whisper out.

There's a long pause on the phone and I know what he's thinking.

"Oppa, it's not what you think the girls wanted to hangout all together. I didn't come here for her."

"Soojin, I know I'm just your manager but I know how broken you were when she left."

"I know, I know but I swear it's not like that. I'll tell you everything when I see you."

"Okay I'll be there in 15minutes"

"Thank you"

....................

"Wow" I sigh, I've just told him everything. He knew about me and Jennie before anyone, I had to tell him but also I trust him he's like an uncle to me. But I didn't tell him about shuhua I don't think he'd approve of members dating each other.

"Yeah"

"Are you okay" he says genuinely.

"Yes of course!"

"Soojin, it's okay not to be okay. You don't have to be strong all the time. I'm old I've had my share of heartbreaks and they're never easy."

I quietly cry, no ones asked me if I'm okay. And it's not like I can just tell everyone that Jennie broke my heart. Soyeon knew and she was there for me, but she always thought I was okay. I am of course but I'm going through so many emotions. Jennie and now Shuhua.

"Soojin I have looked after you girls for years now, I've seen you become your members rock, they all come to you when they're hurt. But you don't always need to be that, there grown up now, so let them for a change be there for you okay? And No matter what I'm here to listen.

"T-thank you oppa" I say quietly.

"Your strong Soojin, I can't imagine how hard it's been going through all this heartbreak on your own. But really look out for yourself more please.

"I will" I smile at him, tears still in my eyes. We've pulled up to my dorm now.

"One final tip from this old man" he jokes.

"Don't hold on to things, forgiveness is the hardest thing to do but can be the best remedy for a broken heart"

Forgiveness, can I forgive fully?

"I'll try" he nods his head and squeezes my hand reassuringly.

"Thank you oppa, you don't know how much you've helped me."

"Always, I care about you girls and only want the best. Now go, I'm sure Shuhua's waiting for you" he says teasingly. I try not to react to much to his last statement and give away my feelings.

"Bye"

"Bye"

I walk to my dorm, a lot on my mind. My past and now my present. Jennie, the cat eyed girl that can make anyone fall. She hurt me, broke my heart, but in the end I always knew she loved me. I did to, but she's my past. I have Shuhua now, I smile just thinking about her. Her playfulness that makes me smile everyday, everyone thinks she's just a silly girl but she's so mature and aware of who she is, I admire that. I think about all the years we've been together and the love she's given, I don't regret Jennie I could never regret Jennie, but maybe if she didn't come along I could have seen Shuhua the way I see her now. And that's beautiful inside and out.

My shushu, I love you.
...............
I walk in the house I'm almost sober now, all I want to do is cuddle with Shuhua.

"Shuhua" i say walking into my room. Weird she's not here. Maybe she's in hers.

"Shuhua?" I open her door and it's empty. My chest tightens, she really left me? Is she with Minnie, why would she not come home, she said she was going to come home. I don't know if it's because of the alcohol but I start crying.

I check my phone and she hasn't messaged or called. I wipe the tears from my phone and text her.

To baby: I'm home and your not here. I hope everything's okay. When you can please call or text me so I know you're alright.

To baby: I miss you

I get into Shuhuas bed, her scent calming me down. I'm probably just looking to much into her. I just hope where okay, I want her. As mine, I just hope she wants the same thing.