Only One You Need

이십칠

After such a long day, Yeona lies alone in her room, curled up under the covers in her bed. She cries, harder than she has for a while now, because she knows that today was the day Jonghyun was due to fly home, unless he had changed that after he had left her behind.

Today was the day she should have been able to see him, or at the very least hear from him, but of course, it has been over a week since he left her, officially, and three weeks now since he up and ran away. She feels sick, and so angry, as she wonders what she could have done to make him stay.

She knows the answer to that though, that he wanted her to quit, he wanted her to be his, and only his, and to not pursue her dreams. She wonders what had changed, how he had gone from the man who had promised to support her, and who was proud of her, to the man who couldn't stand that she had her own life to live, just like he lived his own too.

Yeona takes her phone from the nightstand, swiping quickly to unlock it. Though she had deleted all of their messages, and his name from her call log, not wanting to see the hundreds of unanswered calls she had made that were there, she still had every photo they had taken together, neatly organised in a folder in the photos app.

She opens the folder up, and scrolls back to the very start. The first photo she has, is one she took of him on a coffee date, only a few days after they met. A candid, a photo that he did not see her taking, it was one of her favourites, she stares at it for a moment, and then she deletes it.

One by one, she scrolls through the photos, the memories tearing her apart as she deletes each and every one of them. Searing the times into her mind before she tries to let them go, as she tries so hard to convince herself that he is really, truly gone.

The photos made them look so happy, so content, from day-trips, to weekends away, to just lazy cuddling selcas in bed. So much had happened in two and a half years, they had grown so much together, and then, unbeknownst to Yeona, they had grown apart, she had missed the signs, and she regretted that more than anything in the world.

As the album of photos dwindles down to none, Yeona finds her tears begin to slow, as she starts to accept the ending. The pain is too much for her to bare, and she pushes down the desperate need to see Jonghyun again. Her calls will not go through, as they haven't since Jonghyun ended things with her, so she doesn't even bother trying this time.

She stares up at the ceiling, wishing nothing more than to disappear, and she is reminded of the words she said to Kibum only a week ago.

Even if I don't want to be, I have to be okay.

This brings her strength, as she reminds herself that although the man who she thought was her soulmate is gone, there are others who need her around. There are others that do care about her, that love her, that need her. Yeona knows that she has a purpose, and a responsibility, to keep going forward, and to not just stop and wait for someone who seemingly will not ever come back for her.

———

Just as Yeona is beginning to feel sleepy, warm and comfortable after a long, much needed hot shower, sitting at the edge of her bed wrapped in her towel, her phone vibrates from its position, on charge on her bedside table.

Nini
Noona, are you free?

Yeona
Of course, what's up?

Nini
I'm working on a new choreo, I would love your input if possible.

Yeona
Oh, of course! I'll be down soon.

Yeona stands up, and dresses in a simple cropped tee and black tracksuit pants. She ruffles her pink hair through her towel, before turning to leave the room. She drops her towel back at the bathroom, and then pulls her shoes on at the door before leaving to the dance practice room in the building.

It's late now, after midnight, all of the other members had been asleep when Yeona had gone to shower, so she had assumed Jongin had been too, but now she knows that she was wrong. As she walks down the corridors, she wonders what is keeping him awake, why he is working on his dance so late at night.

She worries about him, much like he does her, as they have become so close, not just physically, with their thousands of kisses, but emotionally too. They talk a lot, every day, a lot more than they do any of the other members, about everything that is happening with them, and about their past. too. Yeona feels as if she knows so much about the younger man, as he does about her too, and she has been so comfortable opening up to him.

———

It only takes a few minutes to arrive at the practice room, and on entrance she sees Jongin, dancing a routine to a backing track, neither of which she had seen or heard before. She is breath taken, as usual, by the gorgeous man in front of her. His routine is ballet focused, and Yeona shuts the door quietly to not distract him, so that she can continue to watch.

Much like how Yeona does when she creates her own choreography, Jongin tells a story through his. His movements depict a tale of someone who started out so afraid, and grew confidence as he found comfort in his surroundings, in the people in his life. As his routine comes to an end, he makes eye contact with Yeona in the mirror, and smiles softly at her.

"Hi, noona." Jongin says shyly

"Nini," Yeona starts, "That was beautiful."

Yeona is choked up as she walks across the room to meet him, as he is waiting for her with open arms. She leans into his embrace and feels sadness wash over her again, though she tries to hide this as she buries her face into his chest, focusing on his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest, calming her down.

Jongin feels Yeona's emotions, and he pulls back from their embrace to make eye contact with her. Her lips are pouted, she looks so afraid, and Jongin struggles not to feel the same way, he far too often takes on others emotions, especially those he cares about.

"Are you okay?" Jongin asks

"Not really..." Yeona replies

Yeona gazes into the taller man's eyes, sparkling and bright, and through her sadness she does feel a wave of calm. His care for her radiates from him, and she knows that she cares so much for him, too. It hurts, almost everything hurts, but staring at Jongin doesn't.

"Do you not want to kiss me anymore?" he asks

Yeona glances from his eyes, to his luscious lips, the ones she has gotten to know so well, soft, plump, so damned kissable, before she meets his eyes again.

"No, I want to, I really, really want to." she says

She closes the gap between them, as Jongin cups her cheeks, pressing their lips together in a kiss more fiery than any they have shared. Yeona's fingers knot in the younger man's hair, eliciting a moan from him, letting their tongues meet as his mouth opens. Jongin moves one hand from Yeona's face, to hold her by the waist, needing her closer than ever before, though unsure if Yeona needs him in the same way.