Forget Me Not

Chapter 1

"I know," she murmured, rubbing circles on my back to calm me. "I know."

We stayed locked in each other's arms for a minute, before someone cleared their throat behind us. We reluctantly separated, and turned to see the source of the noise. 

"I talked to Deb," Jesy said, "and Perrie's fallen back asleep. She said she'd call me with any updates on her condition. I think the best thing for everyone would be for us to leave for now."

My eyes widened as I registered her words. "No!" I exclaimed. "I'm not leaving her."

"Jade, you need some rest," Leigh Anne urged gently. "When was the last time you got any sleep?"

I shook my head, refusing to concede. "What if she wakes up and remembers who I am, and I'm not here when she does? I'm not letting her think I abandoned her again."

Jesy and Leigh let out identical sighs, sending each other a look. "Do you want me to get Deb?" Jesy finally asked. "If we can't convince you to take care of yourself, maybe she can."

"Nothing's changing my mind," I said stoutly, crossing my arms. Leigh Anne let out another sigh, and nodded to Jesy. I watched as she slipped back into Perrie's hospital room and then turned my attention back to the floor.

"Jade."

I looked at Leigh, and merely blinked in acknowledgment. My exhaustion was finally hitting me hard, but I was scared to leave in case something happened. 

"I know you're scared to leave her, but Debbie promised to call us as soon as she woke up," she said gently, in another attempt to convince me to go back to the bus. "There's really nothing more we can do here."

When I didn't respond, she let out a frustrated sigh but didn't say anything more. After a minute of silence, I heard a door open and close quietly, and jumped when a hand touched my shoulder. 

"I know this is hard," Debbie said softly, "but your friends are right. The best thing right now is for you to take care of yourself."

"But-" I looked up as I started to protest, but stopped as I caught sight of her eyes. There was a deep sadness underlying the initial layer of concern, and I was immediately flooded with guilt. I reluctantly nodded, not wanting to add onto her already unbearably tough day. 

Her posture relaxed as she rubbed my arm. "Good. I'm glad you're finally listening. Go home and get some sleep, yeah? I'll call with any and all updates, I promise."

I nodded again, reaching out and drawing her into a hug. "Thank you, Deb," I whispered, clinging to her tightly.

"Of course," she replied soothingly, rubbing circles on my back. I stepped back and turned to my friends, who were watching me with sad eyes. 

"Let's go," I said, turning and walking down the hallway. I could hear them scramble to follow and catch up with me, but I didn't turn around. Despite every muscle in my body screaming at me to turn around and go back to Perrie, I continued my stride until I was out of the hospital.

The bright sun welcomed me as I stepped outside, and I shielded my eyes as I glared up at the sky. I reached my car, but made no move to unlock it or get inside. 

"Move over," Leigh Anne ordered as caught up to me, Jesy a few steps behind her. "You're in no condition to drive."

I nodded, allowing her to reach into my pockets to fish my keys out. Jesy helped me around the car into the passenger's seat. I was despondent the whole day ride back to the bus, staring out the window at the world rushing by. It was unfathomable to me that while my life had come crashing to a stop, the rest of the world would continue on, blissfully unaware of my pain.

We pulled into the campground we'd rented for the buses, and once Leigh Anne put the car in park she turned to look at me. "Do you want to stay with us for now?" She asked gently, as though she was walking on eggshells. I shook my head in response, and got out of the car. 

I trudged toward my bus, and tugged open the door. I heard Leigh Anne shout something about taking care of myself, but I'd already let the door swing shut. I collapsed onto the couch as tears began to prick at the corners of my eyes.

Truth be told, I would have loved to have some company to break apart the stifling loneliness, but I couldn't bear to have anyone else look at me with pity right now. 

I grabbed a blanket, and wrapped it around my shoulders. The light material did little for warmth, but the smell enveloped me in a sense of comfort, and if I closed my eyes I could imagine Perrie was right beside me. 

And that's what I did. 

I was sitting on the couch, my eyes shut tight as I pictured Perrie laying with me, her arms wrapped around me when the door banged against the wall of the bus. My eyes sprung open, tearful and angry as I stood up to go close it.

I latched the door more carefully, and turned to go back to the couch. I caught sight of the pictures of Perrie and me hung up among the twinkle lights, and my chest tightened. Blinking the sting of tears away again, I stumbled past the couch and threw myself onto my bunk. 

I closed my eyes again against the incoming flow of melancholy, and fell asleep with the pictures of us burning the inside of my eyelids. 

—

After a loooooong ass time, here's the first chapter! Ik it's not super long or eventful, but I promise things won't be crazy downbeat and depressing throughout the whole book. 

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you in another 84 years lol