Smoke

1.2

It was the way
you spoke about her
With animosity, regret, disdainand underneath it all,
just a hint of pride.
- (Lang Leav)
- - -
The world is full of people drunk in love or drunk in vodka, and both is bad.

"And I injected you like you were my own drug." Jack says his voice sounds almost desprate

I want to laugh or cry either would be fine, but if I could choose I would choose laughter because if I cry it'll lead to sadness and I don't want to be sad.

"You best be going to rehab then." My voice cracks and I hate it because it's showing weakness

"Winter, please" He begs which confuses me he told me he didn't want me but now he doesn't want me to leave?

"No-" Im cut off by a pair of lips colliding with instantly.

And I almost forget, almost.

I shove Jack backward with all my force he only stumbled a few steps, he looked stunned, shocked.

"No!" I shout with uneven breaths "You are not going to kiss me to try to make me forget about what you said! I want you to leave me alone" I gasp out

He looks at the tiled flooring and nods a bit "If that's what you want." He lets out a frustrated sigh.

Of course it's not what I want, I want you to that this was some sick joke "Yes, yes it's what I want." I lie.

My breathing doesn't even sound like breathing anymore it's more like a donkey gasping for air letting out strange noises, he walked to the front door gripping the handle in his left hand. He turned his head glancing at me once more before leaving with a slam to the door making me jump.

And he's gone.

Because I asked him to leave.

He won't come back.

∞

Goodbyes are always the worst rather you exactly say goodbye or just leave, I don't hold a grudge on Jack because I asked him to go, he probably holds the grudge against me.

Jealousy would only cover half of what I was feeling, mostly I felt used or like a half empty bottle of medicine if that sense. I was a painkiller for Jack and that makes me sick.

I won't cry that's a promise.

My mom texted me and said she would be back around one AM, a wave of loneliness washed over me like a tidal wave my breathing becomes uneven once more.

"He's gone." I whisper to myself letting it sink in but it still doesn't feel real it feels like a dream almost.