My Fake Boyfriend

Bonus Chapter 3- Crimson Memories

“You ruined everything.” He muttered aloud, but even he was unsure if he was talking about her or himself.

Things were going perfect and, for once, he felt like he had everything. Her words had sent him crashing down and, he knew, this time, he’d stay down for good. There was nothing to get up for now, but this thought still confused him.

The girl had just entered his life a few months ago and, already, she had invaded every aspect. He couldn’t think of how it would be without her nor would he try. But, he had to try; very soon, it was to become his reality and he had to suck it up. She was going and he had no say in it.

His hand punched hard at the bench he was sat on before he could even realize, but the sight of red, dripping on the wet grass below didn’t faze him in the slightest. No, it only turned his head to more sinister thoughts that plagued him like nightmares.

Severe Aplastic Anaemia- a deficiency in the production of blood cells. He had searched that when he had gotten home right after their confrontation and, now, looking at the scarlet liquid oozing from his knuckles, he despised himself. He despised himself for selfishly functioning perfectly when all his loved ones were dropping dead like flies.

“What a waste.” He thought aloud as a he watched the blood fall drop by drop.
A sudden ringtone interrupted his thoughts and he pulled the phone out of his back pocket to check.

Justin calling?

He sighed heavily before dropping his phone beside him. He wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t disappointed that it wasn’t a certain someone. He looked to his phone again, feeling bad to not have answered Justin’s calls, but he was in no mood for company. He knew that Justin would be worried as he knew how rash Aaron could be when he was angry yet he couldn’t find himself to make the painstaking journey home.

She was his home.

Again, he cursed at his unhealthy and irrational thoughts. He needed to be rid of this mentality. It would do him no good when…

His fist reached out and punched the bench again before he could stop it and he grimaced at the red blotch that now stained the wooden seating area. He felt the dull pain in his hand, but it was no competition to the pain he felt inside. Try as he might, he couldn’t shake the heavy feeling from his chest, ever since their last conversation.

What had he said last? Goodbye? It seemed fitting in the moment, but now it seemed like a cold sealed promise of her fate. He felt as though he had hammered the last nail into the coffin and not just figuratively speaking. He had passively let her go.

But why?

Why had he been so stupid to have given up as easily as he had done? He had done the same with his mom and he was doing the same now.
Just watching while his world collapsed.

His body shook with anger and he couldn’t help the heat that raised to his chest. She had said what was to be and he had simply left it. He had let her decide and he had walked away. Not because he didn’t want a say, but because he was a coward.

He ran a hand roughly through his hair. It wasn’t her fault; it was his. She was so vulnerable the last time he had seen her and the need to cradle her was insatiable, but he hadn’t given in. She was so weak, why hadn’t he seen it? He was supposed to take care of her and he left her stranded on her own. He had left her when she needed him the most.

The wind howled yet again, but he paid no need to the cold, standing up quickly and making his way out of the park. Dressed in only a thin v-neck, he made his way to the place that he had been longing to go as soon as he had left his house. The cold air bit at his skin and sliced at the tip of his ears, but he trudged through, the thought of her face keeping him going. It was only when the last memory of her tear-streaked face that his slow jog turned into a full sprint, his hair flopping carelessly against his face. Feeling the desperation now, he didn’t know how he repressed the urge to see her for so long.