Chapter 1: Death sure changes alot

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(A/N. Question of the day, should she live in beverly or crenshaw?)

I am Jade James. Spencer James' less popular, talented, and self righteous twin sister. I go to Beverly high and skate by. I do good enough to pass which is amazing when somedays I cant get out of bed.

Literally. I have severe bipolar. She I'm on meds, which make me sluggish, but they dont always work. Bipolar is when you reach maniac highs and lows. When the change happens, it happens.

Despite us being opposites me and Spencer are super close. We quit competing when we were young. He fell into football and I fell into dance. Becuase what we do is so opposite, we never competed against eachother. I just wish our mom thought as highly of what I do as she does with what Spencer does.

Well in short, this is the background information you need to know to understand my story. And, unironically in Crenshaw, my story starts with gun shots.

"Let's go Jade!" My friend, Lamar yelled cheering me on.

Me and this dude built our group of dancers. We think as thieves and hes a second brother to me. Right now we are in a place we probably should be, competing against other troops that we shouldnt be competing again.

But its Crenshaw. What else is there to do. I go out and gove a good combination and it with my signature finisher. Two middle fingers and a flirty wink.

"The winners are KickStop!" We heard the boy on the mike yelled.

"Way to bring it in for the clutch!" Lamar yelled.

Our excitement and celebration was cut out by gunshots ringing through the room. Humble by kendric lamar was the sound I heard when I saw lamar grabbing his stomach as blood bled through his finger tips.

Be humble. Bitch. Sit down.

And he with one last look of terror in his eye he fell to the ground. I ran over to apply pressure on his wound but knew it wouldnt work. The cops and the ambulances wouldnt be here in time to save him.

"Good luck," he gasped out.

"Its okay," I told him, and it was lie.

He knew it was lie to. A few minutes later he bled out. I kept in tears as I waited for a first responder to show. You may wonder how I'm holding it together.

This is Crenshaw. People die here every day. You always just hope it ain't someone you love. I guess I ain't that lucky.

When the police and ambulance showed up I told them what they needed to know. They made me call someone, so I called my brother. Thirty minutes later he showed up at the underground club and wrapped his arm around me. Spencer's older then me by five minutes, but he acts like it was five years.

We walked home, deeming me to bloody to ride the bus.

"I got this shot to go to Beverly. I think you should take with me," he said to me,"I think it would be good for you."

"I wouldnt fit in there," I told him.

"I wont either. It be easier if my little sister was with me," he said.

"Your not that much older then me."

"I'm a day older," he said making me laugh.

He was born at 11:58 P.M. I was born at 12:03 A.M. We always like having separate birthdays, it was one thing we didnt have to share.

"I like it in crenshaw," I said sighing.

"Are you going to like it without Lamar?" I knew this would come up.

"Dont use him."

"It could have been you tonight Jade!" He yelled and tears filled his eyes, "I cant take this opportunity and leave you back here, putting you in danger!"

"What would I go for! I am not smart, I'm not athletic, I'm not outstanding in everything but dancing! And who knows what my group will be now that my best friend is dead!" I yelled.

"How long until your dead too."

"I'm done talking about this," I said coldly.

"Dont do this-"

"No Spencer," I said cutting him off,"you dont get to use my best friends death against me to get what you want."

When we got home I stomped to my room to take off the clothes stained in Lamar's blood. I wanted to wash and wash and wash it all away so then theres no memory of the events of tonight.

And once I got in the shower I let the tears from my best friends death escape me. So I let the frigid water wash over my body as I sat in the shower and cried. This is Crenshaw, it happens everyday, but it hurts like hell when it happens to you.

When I walked out my mom was sitting on my bed holding the picture I had of me and Lamar. I was on his back, throwing up a peace sign. We both were smiling. If you didnt know us youd say we looked like a couple. If you did know us Youd know he pushed me down a small hill after it was taken.

"Spencer filled me in on what happened. I'm so sorry, sweatheart."

"I'm fine mom," I said, zero emotions in my voice.

"I dont want you to reach any bad levels. Do I need to schedule you an appointment with your therapist?" She asked me.

"People die everyday."

Appearantly that wasnt the right thing to say. My mom then burst into tears that put my crying to shame. I stood there and stared at her numbly. I cried myself out in the cold shower.

"All I could think is how you two weren't probably that far apart. How if the person shooting had moved the gun a few more inches it could be you dead."

Good. Then no one would have to deal with my shit anymore. But I dont say this. That isnt exactly comforting. I find it a bit ironic that I'm comforting my mother after my best friends death.

"I'll be okay mom," I said softly.

"Your right. You will. I have enrolled you in Spencer into Beverly. He is going for football and I entered you in a diversity program," she said, and I knew there was no point in arguing.

Although I had valid points. I just lost my best friend, so her bright idea is to move her fragile daughter from the rest of her friends to a brand new school. But I dont say that, becuase it would cause issues. and I cause plenty of other one.

"Okay."

"Get some rest. You'll start on monday. I'm always here, jade. And let me know if you change your mind on the therapy appointment."

Once she left my room I picked the the picture she left on my bed.

"Fuck. It was supposed to be you outliving me. You had a future. You were a straight A student. You wanted thrill. I guess you got it," I sound really crazy talk to a photo hoping he can hear me.

"Are you okay?" Dillion asked from the door.

"I'm okay little man,"  I told him.

He nodded his head and left. I grabbed my earbuds and put them in to cancel everything else out. I was in a neutral sad mood so I put on blackbear.

I let music help block out the rest of my life, hoping when I woke up this would all be an awful nightmare. Not my near reality.

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