Amore (Vinnie x Kio)

Lapse

Kio P.O.V.

"Let me tell you a story." I uttered in an exasperated breath, the energy in my body at minimum levels.

My dad was laying on his death bed. Refusing to go to the hospital likely, because he also knew he was starting to go. My mother was bawling, I could understand her. After all she married her high-school sweetheart, someone who accompanied her for life and who now was on the last lap of his adventure.

For me, it was a different feeling. Of course, it hurt, but at the same time, I had begun to come to terms with the fact that the tie between us was severed by his actions. Vinnie had helped me understand that love is something that is earned and not necessarily tied to blood-relations.

It is something you give to people that in one way or the other have given you joy, support, energy, trust, time, and most of all, given the love you give, back.

"It's my story actually. The story of my love." my voice spoke in a monotone sound, his eyes looked away from me and he let out a low raspy grunt.

"It's a story about a boy and a girl." I continued holding onto his arm as he looked back and his dying, emotionless face seemingly lighting up making my stomach turn.

Sometimes one pillar may break, maybe two or even three. It may break for you as well and it's in you both, to help build them up again. It may take incredible amounts of patience but in the end, the pillar should be taller and stronger.

With my father, those pillars were built throughout my childhood but after my tendency to love was in a way 'discovered', those pillars came crashing down one by one.

"They were 15 when they started going out." these words making both my parents look at me with baffled faces.

"They didn't love each other the world wanted them to. After a while they would fight about the smallest things, like chocolate, one liked one with almonds the other, with mint." I spoke fluidly looking at my dad with emotion as I made reference to the old lady that had changed my life.

For many years I tried to build them up completely by myself, hoping that one day he would join me. I spent entire nights sobbing wondering why God decided to make me the way I was, judging myself for having the slightest of thoughts, slowly destroying myself for the simple act of loving.

That day, never came.

At first, I punished myself with negative thoughts, drowning myself in pity for not being able to reach for something so close, yet so far away.

"Both of them tried to come to terms with their difference in heart. The girl lost love from her peers, her parents-" speaking the last part as of daggers came with my words looking at both my parents.

"Lost love of herself. Now she's just a tombstone on a lawn." I spoke, fighting the urge to crack now having both of my parent's face reactions in sync with my words.

Talking with Vinnie about my emotions helped me in a way understand that after all these years trying and even with his eventual passing...

It was ok.

It was fine that the ways happened the way they did. I was in peace with myself for trying as hard as I did and coming to accept the fact that he didn't want a son in the same way I wanted a father, helped me.

"The boy also lost love. But he found another boy-" pausing to wait for the reaction in my father's complexion. Shockingly it filled with a look of remorse, not anger as I anticipated. "A boy whose blond locks loaded him with joy, whose smile was always mimicked on his own face-"