Toxic and in Love

I need to forget but its not that easy

Arson

I don't know what I feel. I miss her so much and I hate it. I saw my mom and her boyfriend kiss and all my mind went to was her. I can't ever get over her and I hate it. I miss her smile, her voice, her hair, her eyes... just her and I can't tell anyone because it gets annoying. I just wish she knew I never meant to hurt her or be toxic and that I love her and it's never gonna change. In our group chat they always FaceTime but I won't when she is on (honestly I'm glad, I don't like fting with a group of people l) because it's just awkward. She made and still kinda makes me happy. I've tried dating someone else, liking someone else, getting obsessed with a character and these feelings won't go away. I just wish I could be happy again. And I wish I knew if she is happy or not. Its been over a month since that wendsday night and I can still picture us... she may be ashamed of that night but I'm not. She is the best thing that has happened to me, she has taught me that I need to sometimes focus on myself and she has taught me so much even by leaving. I know we may not be able to be friends again but doesn't mean I'm not over her. When you love someone those feelings don't just go away in a month... tomorrow is exactly 1 month that we haven't been friends and I can't believe it's been this long... im breaking down just writing this and it's not even tomorrow yet...

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A/n~
This chapter is just a mess, woooow like me ahaha. Anyway enjoy how I learned a sad and miserable life lesson.
- Anella