Strawberries and Cigarettes ~ {h.s au}

chapter forty one ***

"There you go," he encouraged, his hand still working his way up and down her back. "Just breathe baby, it's okay. You're okay."

Despite everything that was going on, she somehow managed to control her breathing, not allowing herself to spiral down the way she had been terrified she would. She inhaled deeply one last time, pulling away from him as she wiped the tears from her eyes. She took a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair as she opened her eyes, giving him a soft smile to know that she was okay.

She turned her body away from his, laughing slightly to herself like she had always done when she cried. He raised his eyebrow at her, only causing another set of small chuckles to leave her lips before placing them onto his.

This time he was the one to pull away first, sending a small one to her lips once more before standing up quickly. "I'll be right back," he said, turning to his car as he did a quick jog to it.

She turned her body to look back up at the sky, closing her eyes for a moment, basking in the fact she was finally able to breathe again. His feet shuffling behind her pulled her out of her thoughts, turning her head back to her right to see him sit back down next to her. She sent him a small smile, only for him to return it before nodding down to the spot in between the two.

She cocked her eyebrow to the side in confusion before following his eyes down to the space of grass below them. She couldn't help the wide smile that fell onto her face... because this had now been the second time he had brought her the small tin of strawberries.

She shook her head playfully, grabbing the smallest of them all as she brought it to her lips, "I think I'll keep you around, Styles."

"Good," he said as he laughed at her remark, making her heart flutter at the sound of his voice filling the air. "Cause you're stuck with me now, Beck."

There had only ever been one other time where she had trusted someone the way she had now, where there wasn't a doubt in her mind that she was safe - when she had told Louis. And now, there was seemingly nothing stopping her from telling him the thing that she had been trying so hard to keep hidden.

She stayed silent for a moment trying to find the words to say before just spitting them out without warning, "About what Louis said today-"

"If you have taught me anything Marley Jeen," he said, cutting her completely but with such compassion she almost broke down on the spot. "It's that you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. Tell me because you're ready... not because you think I am."

She paused for a moment, taking his words to heart as she looked up at him. Was she ready for him to know, or did she think he wanted to know?

She was about to forget about it, to shake it off in hopes that they would move one. But then she took another look at him. She saw something inside of his eyes that she couldn't explain, something that made her feel more loved than she had ever felt in her entire life, something that made her realize that she not only wanted to tell him... but needed to tell him.

"Dean is a bad guy Harry," she whispered, trying to find the right words to say out of the million running through her mind.

He stayed silent, taking the small tin of strawberries and moving it to the other side of him. He closed the gap between the two, placing his hand on her lap as he waited for her to continue. She turned her head away from him, shame filling inside of her as the tears that had finally left her eyes started coming back.

"After my dad died, I told myself that I would never come out here again. It was too painful for me, it was as if the memories of him would come flooding back and it was hard to even stand," she said softly, running her fingers through her hair as she tried to focus on the patterns he was tracing on her thigh. "I stayed away for a good year, I think. I couldn't even drive down the road without breaking down into tears."