I'm On Your Side

1 | The Universe Has, Once Again, Failed Me

I settle back into my seat and roll my eyes when I hear that April's still calling out people's names. I mean when is this lady going to stop calling out names? Suddenly, I freeze.

Oh, fuck. Did she call my name already?

I'd been so invested in my thoughts that I didn't pay attention to my name being called. I look around the room, anxiously and bite my lip, wondering if I should ask her if she called my name already. But she's still calling names, maybe you should wait until she finishes and if she doesn't call your name then you can ask her, I think to myself. I nod my head in agreement. That sounds good.

I lay back in my seat, a sense of relief washing over me. I love that I'm being in control of things. God, why couldn't I be like this when I was suffering from depression in eighth grade! My attention diverts back to April's voice when I realize I'm zoning out again (trust me, I do not want to ask April after she calls out all the names if she called mine―I'm too anxious to).

"Olivia and Josh," April says, reading from the paper, "Izzy and Nicole, Isha and Mason, Ben and Henry." She continues to list names as I sit there, stunned. What the fuck did she just say? My brain recalls her saying Isha and Mason and then, my heart palpitates rapidly.

I forgot that Mason is in this class!

I adjust back in my seat, taking deep breaths and assuring myself that everything will be fine. I mean, I hate that dimwit, but I also like him and the fact that I like him nauseates me. Like, I don't get how I like someone who made me feel bad about myself and my body type. I lean back in my seat and shake my head, coming to the conclusion that I'm overreacting over a guy who could care less about me and who I could care less about.

"Okay, guys," April says. I look up, figuring she's done calling out names, "what I want you to do once I finish talking is to move your chair to where your partner's sitting and have an icebreaker. Basically, talk about your interests. What interests you? What are your hobbies? What do you like to do?" She pauses to open her water bottle and gulps down some water. "Think of the answers to these questions while you arrange a spot for you and your partner to meet up and get to know each other. And, please! Don't be shy to come up to me and ask any questions," she says, taking another swig of water.

Damn, she must be really thirsty, I think to myself. Has she not drank today at all or is that what college life is like: you have no time to do anything else except study (that part was a joke. Actually, maybe not because I seriously don't know what goes on in college life)?

I expect April to continue talking, but when she doesn't, I realize it's time to do the ice breaker with our partner. I get up and am about to pick up the chair when it occurs to me that I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to go to Mason or he comes here.

Great, I think to myself as I settle down the chair. I look around the room, debating on asking April what to do or just wait for Mason to make a move. I decide for the dimwit to make a move. I sneak a glance at him and catch him walking towards me. Yes! At least, that's one thing off my back, I think to myself. Now I just need to get the remaining 999, 999, 999 things off.

I sit back in the chair just as Mason pops up from behind me. I almost wince. "Fucking hell," I murmur.

"Huh?" Mason asks. I look at him for a short second. God, I can't even see his eyes: they're covered up by his shaggy curls and his mask.

"N-Nothing," I say, "I just―" Suddenly, I notice how close we are. "Uh, six feet apart."

He looks at me, cluelessly. Damn, he really is a dimwit. "Oh, uh, fuck it." I look at him in shock, mostly because of his sudden language, although you can't really see it because of my mask. "I mean, we're already wearing masks so we're good..." his voice trails off when he looks at me, "I mean, unless you want me to move because I can, then―"