Fake Smiles (Killugon)

Chapter 9

^I made this my computer wallpaper

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⚠ ANGST ⚠ 

"So Gon.....how's life at home? You've never really talked about it with me." Kite asks the green boy, sitting directly in front of him.

Oh God....Do I have to babysit this boy or something? Killua thinks to himself, looking annoyed.

He's just about to intervene before he gets cut off by Gon. "Well.... pretty terrible actually. I'm practically risking my life everytime I go home so, there's a reason I never talk about it. And before you ask, no- I'm not ready to talk about it...well maybe I am...." Gon says, looking at killua for a split second- the quickly averting his gaze back to Kite. "....But definitely not right now. Sorry." He finally finishes- getting up to go throw his empty can of Brisk Iced tea in the trash.

This leaves everyone completely speechless. Everybody but Killua is thinking the exact same thing, Risking....His life...? While Killua thinks, I thought he didn't want...what was that...?  Killua  blinks once, then twice "What was tha-" He quickly stops talking completely when he see's the look on Ponzu's face. 

He's only known her for two days but he could never imagine that expression on her face- she was always so happy...and...cheerful.... now she looked like- she looked like a mix between being completely terrified- ready to start WW3- and shocked. Killua's quickly brought out of his thoughts when he hears Ponzu speak.

"What...what- what did you mean risking your life Gon." She asks, voice sounding slightly intimidating. Silence. "Gon please speak to me..." Ponzu said- voice sounding more desperate then serious now. No answer. "what's going on at home Gon-?!" She suddenly yells- sounding distressed. "I thought you promised to tell me everything-! I-is this what that slip up at lunch was about?!" Gon's breath hitches, him still facing the opposite way. "I...I don't know what you're talking about Ponzu." He finally says. "Gon I'm not letting you off the hook for that one. Please just....please tell me whats wrong.." She pleads. "I- I want to help so bad but I cant if you bottle up all your feelings like this...." She says- taking a step closer to Gon.

And then again- everyone is left speechless..shocked. But Gon the most. He's staring at Ponzu, eyes wide and glassy. Wow.... he really means a lot to her.. Killua thinks. "Ponzu...." Gon whispers, feeling the dam inside of him finally breaking. He couldn't hold back anymore- he couldn't bare to see Ponzu like this- he doesn't want to see Ponzu like this...so he breaks.

 "Ponzu you can't- Killua can't- the police can't- nobody can help me..." He chokes out- tears suddenly flowing like waterfalls down his face. "Why- why do I have to have all this pressure on me..." Ponzu takes a step back- one hand covering her mouth. "Why can't.....why can't I just live a normal life.... Like you- or Killua, or-" He puts his hands through his hair- dropping down to his knees. "WHY IS IT THAT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WETHER OR NOT I'LL MAKE IT- MITO WILL MAKE IT- EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I CAN'T....I CAN'T LOSE MITO....I can't...." He suddenly cries out, startling everyone.

"NOT LIKE MY MOM- NOT LIKE MY GRANDMA- NOT LIKE MY DAD- MY REAL DAD. NOT THE STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT THAT STARTED ALL OF THIS-! HE CAN ROT IN HELL- HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE ENOUGH FOR HIS OWN COUSIN AND SON- ALL HE HAS TO DO IS CALL, PONZU! ONE FUCKING CALL IS ALL HE HAS TO DO AND ME AND MITO CAN FINALLY LIVE A NORMAL LIFE AGAIN..." His caramel brown eyes now wide, full of hate and fear. Mouth now quivering. "BUT NO. EVERY NIGHT ME AND MITO HAVE TO BE ABUSED. ABUSED LIKE- LIKE DOLLS OR SOMETHING. WHY DO I PUT UP WITH THIS EVERYDAY? WHY? BECAUSE. BECAUSE IF I DON'T I'LL LOSE MITO-! JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. AND THEN... AND THEN I'LL HAVE NO REASON TO GO ON....no reason...to go...on...." He whispers the last part- as he falls back- now sitting on the floor.