BLUE | ᴛᴀᴇᴊɪɴ ✔

8 | Look at me

𝓒𝓪𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴 𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓘'𝓶 𝓫𝓵𝓾𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓰𝓻𝓮𝔂

Taehyung came home and unfolded the piece of paper that Seokjin left for him before leaving.

It was just a single line, but it made him anxious.

"I want to melt your cold winter. Will you let me?"

It made him really anxious as he kept thinking about it. He knew that the next day when he meets Seokjin, he would be looking for an answer.

He was sure that he wanted to learn more, know more from Seokjin and for the same reason, he spent a lot of time thinking about an answer that night and even the next day. He kept thinking about what he would answer.

The next day, he sat there, by the sea, thinking about all the stuff Seokjin told him and then thought about an answer.

Seokjin sat beside him, this time there were no flowers, no book, or a pen.

He was surprised. Had Seokjin got an idea that he was going to try to speak with him today instead of writing?

"Are you willing to?" Seokjin asked. There was a genuine concern and comfort in his voice which helped Taehyung to calm down and think clearly.

"Yes, I'm willing to listen to you and try. I'm willing to improve," Taehyung answered. And this time he not only spoke, but he also looked at Seokjin.

He realized that the man indeed looked like he was happy and carefree. He saw how Seokjin's eyes were full of life, enough to brighten up the other person's mood. It felt as if there was some light surrounding him, filled with some kind of energy. Taehyung wondered if it was real or just a dream.

The way Seokjin was looking at him made him feel the need of wanting Seokjin to look at him. Before, he didn't even want anyone to look at him. But now he wanted to look at someone and someone to look at him. Is this a big change? Am I asking too much?

Seokjin was extremely happy to see Taehyung's willingness to improve. But both of them knew that it wasn't simple.

"Taehyung, I'm really happy that you chose this. Your sister would be really happy right? To see you trying to be happy, to see you trying to get out of this."

Taehyung nodded. Thinking about his sister, he couldn't help but cry.

"I know, she wants me to be happy, but it is hard. I keep thinking about the days when she was there with me and it's still hard to accept what happened. And even if I get better someday, I would've wasted so much time by then. I don't know have any idea how things would turn out in the future. When she was there with me, it was enough. Even though I got depressed at times, she used to make me believe that things would turn out to be good somehow. But now I'm left alone. I don't know how to feel, what to do. I'm unsure. What is the use of all this hope?", Taehyung spoke in between the sobs.

Seokjin patted his back, "I understand, it's hard for you. I do. Right now I'm here. Even if I can't take the place of your sister, I'm still here for you. And I do care for you."

Seokjin waited for Taehyung to get back to normal.

"I understand what you said, how you feel and I respect it. But you think too much. You think a lot Taehyung."

"What do you mean by that? Shouldn't I think about someone I love? And thoughts are natural. Is there a way to stop them?"

"I'm not just talking about the thoughts about you sister but much more.
Like when I left you with a question yesterday, didn't you spend your whole time getting anxious, thinking about what to answer today?
But now, don't you realize that all of that worrying was unnecessary, because you knew how things would be only when you were there in that particular moment," Seokjin replied.

"Makes sense. Are you saying that I need to stop doing that? But you haven't answered how to?"

This time, Seokjin saw that Taeheyung was really thinking about it. And he could only be happy.

"Have you realized how everyone tells you what's good for you, they don't want you to find the answers yourself, they only want you to believe theirs? But that doesn't really help, does it?

And that is why I can't answer that for you. I can only help you ask yourself the right questions. It's you who will find the answers."

Taehyung listened to it intently. He was sure that Seokjin was different than the other people. What made him like that?