BLUE | ᴛᴀᴇᴊɪɴ ✔

12 | Sword

"Wait," Taehyung had to talk about something. He didn't know if Seokjin would come tomorrow, so he thought about saying it now.

Seokjin stopped walking until Taehyung walked over to him.

"Yes?", he asked Taehyung to continue.

"The day before yesterday, you gave me a question. And I was really determined to find the answer as if I was about to accomplish something. Finding the answer was the only thing that was on my mind most of the time, it kept me from getting bored or depressed. But once I found the answer, the determination, the curiosity, it was gone. I started to feel numb again. Only then I realized what you said to me, that nothing stays the same. As I was staring aimlessly at the ceiling, I realized how every time in the past I thought that there was happiness through accomplishment but every time I accomplished something, I came to a dead-end, not knowing where to turn. So, now I think that it was really an illusion. Is that right?", Taehyung looked at Seokjin for an answer.

Seokjin smiled, "Now, you're starting to ask the right questions.

Are you still happy and fulfilled by all your previous achievements?"

"No. I don't think so. I mean yes, but not really," Taehyung replied.

"Well, that answers your question.

Some people never learn to enjoy life, they only know how to achieve. All their lives, they become busy seeking happiness but never finding and sustaining it.

But- We can talk about this thing later. It'll need more time," Seokjin said.

"Even I wanted to know what you had to say about happiness; I was going to ask you eventually. Still, it's ok, later. But can you finish explaining the accomplishment thing? I still need to be clear about it," Taehyung said.

"For that, you'll need to awaken your senses. You haven't opened your heart to life yet, to each moment. People may tell you that living life without worry but with happiness is all about invulnerability. But it's the opposite, it is about absolute vulnerability, to life, to every moment and presence that you feel. For a happy and peaceful life, one shouldn't strive towards perfection or illusory achievements. You need to think less and feel more. It is love that would help you with that. Love towards the things you do, towards the people around you, towards life."

Taehyung interrupted, "But, doesn't love make you weak?"

"No. It does not. Love is like a happy and contented person's sword. Wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death."

Taehyung took a deep breath, "Those are some really deep words and you are really mysterious. But if you're wondering; I try to understand and apply all the things that you tell me. I feel different. And something makes me believe in you."

"I believe you. And I also believe that you'll start practicing everything that you learned today," Seokjin looked at Taehyung for confirmation.

"Yes. I'll try," there were still two things that he wanted to ask. He was nervous to ask, but he decided to let go of the worry.

"Are you going to come tomorrow?", he asked Seokjin looking at him in a way that Seokjin found really cute.

"You're really cute to avoid talking to. But don't let your mind wander in the future, remember? Expectations won't keep you happy. I want you to be happy. And as for tomorrow, I'm not sure."

"I remember. Ok," Taehyung spoke in a monotone voice.

"Since our meeting is uncertain... Can you at least give me your- number?", Taehyung asked a bit hesitantly.

"Maybe next time", Seokjin smiled once last time at Taehyung before he left.

Taehyung felt that it was somewhat rude. It was hard for him to ask that question. But he got nothing. Anyway, he isn't bound to give me his number. And at least I'm not anxious now, since I asked it. I won't have to think about what would have happened if I did.

Taehyung went home and he didn't remember the last time he felt this lively. He was excited to try out all the things that he learned today. But remember, don't try to strive towards achievements, stay away from illusions, he reminded himself. Every time he thought about those words that he heard till now, he could feel Seokjin's voice and his presence. And he was always happy to recall it.

He walked over to the table that had a picture of him and his sister. Love is like a sword. Wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death. He recalled those words and realized how the sadness over his sister passing away would never be greater than the love that he had for her. He made up his mind to be present at the moment, to give his very best at the moment, every time from now on. He wanted to make progress and tell it to Seokjin one day. He wanted to do things that would've made his sister happy. He wanted to improve.