BLUE | ᴛᴀᴇᴊɪɴ ✔

1 | Cold

Taehyung's face was filled with tears as he held the handkerchief that belonged to the person who was once everything to him.

He only had his sister and she was his everything, she was the one that brought colors to his life. But now, the colors faded and all he knew was blue.
Every day he wished to take the place of his sister in that accident. She was too precious, not deserving this at all or maybe the world didn't deserve her.

His life was never the same after she passed away and he believed that it would never be.

His sister was always a strong person and he would never forget how she lay helpless in the hospital bed that day. How she tried so hard to speak her last words, but couldn't. All he could do was hold her hand as he watched the last bit of life being drained away from her. He couldn't believe it, he didn't want to.

For days he had hallucinations of her, trying to make him believe that she was still there. When his friends tried to convince him, he yelled at them to not say such things.
He told them that she's still there, right beside him.

Days went by and his hallucinations stopped. He was starting to get convinced that the things he saw weren't real. But eventually, he had accepted that his sister was no longer with him.

That very day, he was holding the handkerchief and tears streamed down his face, but he couldn't feel anything. He just knew that he wanted to cry.

And then the depression started. It wasn't new to him, he had been depressed a few times before but those times it wasn't as intense as this one. He thought it would go away but it only increased as days went by. He couldn't feel anything, he didn't feel like doing anything. He was tired all the time and felt useless, barely hanging on. At some point, he wanted to kill himself but something was holding him back.

He didn't feel like talking to anyone and distanced himself from everyone, even his friends. They were persistent to help him for a while but he told them that he needed some space. He stopped going to work and found an online job. He was ok with the little money he earned as he wasn't spending much, he didn't need to buy much as he was barely going out. Also, the food he ate was minimal due to the loss of appetite.

He looked pale and lifeless. The dark circles around his eyes were a result of the sleepless nights.

There was a time when he managed to convince himself to go see a doctor. The doctor gave him some pills and for a few days, he thought that they may work but eventually he realized that they just made him feel nothing by making him sleepy all the time, and that wasn't helping. And he knew that that wasn't the only side effect, there will be more, later. So he stopped taking them.

While sleeping, he used to have this particular dream where everything was blue. It always started with his sister's vibrant smile and progressed with his sister spending time with him but it all used to end as soon as her sister used to leave him and he used to end up waking breathless.

Even if the dream left him depressed, he wanted to dream the same thing, for the sake of the little bit of comfort seeing his sister in it.