The Lovegen App / kth x jjk

45. Grey and Dull

"Excuse me?"

The alpha huffed again, turning a hand roughly through his black locks. He turned to look at the omega and those cold eyes were giving hints of being terrified. The alpha blurted out those words which felt like a knife stabbing right into Taehyung's heart.

"I thought you were trying to make things right? We can't have a baby now! I still have a lot to do before I can... before I..."

Taehyung felt hurt. He did not want to believe what he was wearing, all that bullshit coming from Jeongguk's mouth. His heart was beating fast and all he wanted to do was to cry and disappear.

"Fuck you Jeongguk" the omega snapped, his vision getting blurry by tears while his lips slightly quivered. "Is that what you think? That I let myself get pregnant because I wanted to get a hold of you or something?"

Jeongguk huffed again, rubbing his temples. "No... that's not what I meant"

"Yeah, you did"

Jeongguk stared back at Taehyung noticing the omega was starting to cry even when he looked angry at the moment, and he recoiled, not realizing how harsh his words came out. "No... I know you wouldn't... you're not like the rest of the omegas-"

Taehyung scoffed at that. "So you're saying every omega wants to get pregnant to control their alphas? What the fuck Jeongguk? You know how much of an asshole you're being right now?!"

"Taehyung, calm down"

"No, get out!

"I'm not going to go... we have to talk about this" Jeongguk growled, eyes looking sharper than before while he clenched his hands into fists. "I can't have a baby right now. I'm too busy with my business... you don't understand. There are things I need to take care of before I can start a family with you"

"I won't get rid of the baby if is that what you're suggesting..." Taehyung muttered, sniffling while looking away from the alpha. His eyes were painted with pain while he reached his face to dry the tears in his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie.

"I wasn't suggesting that... is just... I'm not ready" Jeongguk replied, his face empty of colors.

"You should have thought of that before knotting me four times when I was on my heat," Taehyung said, sarcasm and anger radiating in those words.

Jeongguk scoffed, rubbing his temples once again. If he wasn't stressed enough already he was now. "You triggered my rut"

"Are you blaming me now?"

"Stop turning everything I said against me!" Jeongguk growled getting close to the omega to make him look at him as the blonde kept looking away. "I'm sorry if I said something that hurt you, alright? But I'm scared!"

"Well, I'm scared too!" Taehyung replied staring back at the alpha, brows still knitted together, grey eyes glossy and his bottom lip trembling lightly. "I just want to know if I'm alone in this"

"You're not alone, you won't ever be alone," Jeongguk said attempting to lower his voice, trying to sound gentler, but his tone was dull and conflicted. "You are everything, Tae... And the baby is my pup," he said while a soft smile appeared on his face.

But internally, Jeongguk felt like he was choking.

Not because of the overwhelming feeling of knowing he was going to be a father but rather choking on his own emotions. After turning the switch off he didn't know how to turn it back on without drowning in a grey sea of unstable emotions. And after finding out he was going to have a little pup it triggered something inside him that threatened him to turn all those emotions on again.