The Baker And The Queen Pin

12.) Passions Erupt\Love Ignites

~~~Maria

I composed myself after seeing how patient he was with me. I didn't have to be yelled at or called out of my name. I was just a woman who needed to be talked to. He treated me like I was a good woman and he went out of his way to listen to me talk. I take a deep breath as I think about everything that's happened to me. I've never had good luck with men because they didn't respect that I wanted to stand on my own, they couldn't respect that I didn't need their help, they wanted me to be helpless and I hated a man who wanted me to be helpless.

I wanted a good man who understood what I had to offer and who wanted me to grow. It's probably why I gravitated towards an older man though my former therapist would say it's because I have a daddy complex. I was hurt by my dad so now I seek men to replace him, I take a deep sigh as I say, "You don't have to be nice to me, you don't have to care about me,"

The car begins to slow down even further as he says, 'We just met and you've been nothing but patient and understanding. You're a young lady in her late 20s. Sometimes it's difficult, liking someone so quickly. Trust me, I understand,' I feel nothing but guilt every time I look at him, did he even think about it when he got in the way? All I saw was him turn and see the man and then he looked at me.

He saw the man arm his gun but he protected me, he put me first. I always had to put myself first even with everything I'm doing in my life, even with all the chaos that I'm in. I have to put myself first. I always have to yet he put me first, he didn't have to. He could have easily just watched me suffer, he could have easily let me get shot. Did he even know I was a target?

It's then that I find myself wanting to say something almost spiteful, "You're being nice to someone and you don't even know them. What makes you put other people first?" I say, searching for ill intentions in him. He takes a minute and then he says, 'Because I've been there and it's never easy,' he says to me. 'To be alone and having to do things on your own, it's never easy. I wish I would've known this a long time ago, I wouldn't have tried to be alone,' I could see it on his face, the man who made so many mistakes and had to fix them, a man who punishes himself for all the wrongs that he did in this world.

'It's not easy being by yourself, it's never going be easy because sometimes you'll find yourself in situations that you can't get out of. Being by yourself is easy but not when you're essentially forcing yourself to suffer,' I didn't expect to hear that from him, I expected him to give some spiel about how it wasn't easy to be alone, I don't know what I expected but what he said to me made sense. 'When you're by yourself,' he continues, 'You find yourself, hoping that no one notices that you're lonely. Trust me, I've been there and it's not easy,' I see his eyes show me something different, his eyes told me a truth I did not think to acknowledge.

Being alone is poison to the human body yet if you're going to be alone, it's better to be alone in good company. Sometimes I hadn't thought about it for a while. I remember the last time I was intimate with a man though it was rather recently, it was just a one-night-stand, and even then, I actually wanted to have someone there for me. Not just physically but mentally. I'm not the type of lady who likes pillow talk but when I get it, I like to enjoy it, I like to enjoy it with a man who can stimulate my body and my mind.

I find myself so lost in my thoughts, I didn't hear him say my name. 'I'm sorry you've had a lot of rocky relationships. I can honestly relate though,' I wanted to object to him but it was like he was reading my mind. I take a deep sigh and I say, 'What do you know about Russians and Latinas?" He says, 'Not much in an honest tone. "Well, I'm going to be honest with you, Mr. Booker. You're by far one of the most attractive and hardest-working men I've seen in this city. You're kind and to be honest with you, I want to date you," His eyebrows raise and I see him focus on driving more.