Drarry - A New Beginning

Chapter 18. Breakdown

"I don't like feeling exposed. I don't like everyone talking about my life and I certainly don't like feeling threatened! I've felt that my entire life!"

"Well so have I!"

Harry furrowed his brow and looked at Draco confused, angry adrenaline pumping through him at the uncertainty of where this would go. He'd never fought with Draco like this since they got together. This time raising voices at one another was dangerous, there was more to lose now

"Seriously?! Your school life for the first five years was drama-free. You never had anyone staring at you or spreading lies about you. The most you had to deal with as a child was controlling parents who still gave you everything you wanted" Harry bit

"Parents who were too scared to stand up for me when the dark lord threatened to kill me if I didn't become a murderer! And all I've had since returning to school this year is people whispering about me and staring, so I guess were even" Draco shouted. They were both in the centre of his bedroom now, the tension was rising fast and neither of them could hold back their anger 

"Draco your parents were looking out for you!" Harry barked "They were waiting to weight up their options, to find the right time to fight back! They would've died if they went against Voldemort-"

"Well maybe they should have!" Draco spat 

Silence rung across the room. Harry's expression of disbelief turned to one of shock and upset. Draco realised what he'd said too late and panic set in seeing the hurt across Harry's face. He tried to backtrack but his outburst had pushed it too far 

"Shit, Harry, I'm so sorry... I-I didn't mean that. I wasn't thinking..." Draco stammered 

Harry took a slow step back from him, his brow furrowed, lips parted waiting to find the words to come out. The silence was excruciating. Eventually, Harry spoke

"How could you say that?" his tone was low, a whisper. He couldn't quite meet Draco's eye. Draco remained quiet, his lip trembling and throat closing with regret 

"How could you say that to me?!" Harry exploded

"I didn't mean to! I wasn't thinking straight, Harry I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry! Please... I don't want to fight..." Draco broke off, trying to find the right thing to say but he trailed off, his eyes glazing over with tears

Silence filled the room for what felt like an eternity. Draco stood awkwardly wanting to reach out and hold Harry but fearful of the consequences of his words. Harry was breathing heavily, trying hard to hold in his emotions, scared he might scream and cry and say something stupid If he didn't control himself

"My parents are dead Draco, and it's fucking awful. It's fucking painful" Harry's voice cracked as he held back the tears growing in his eyes and pushed through the lump in his throat "Every day I miss them. Everyday I dream of where I would be if they were still around. If they would be proud of me. If they'd support me. I think; would they love my best friends as much as I love them? would they be happy that I found you? Every day I ask a million questions and every day I get zero answers. Nothing. Fuck all. Because they're dead"

"I know" Draco whispered, barely audible 

"I was already so angry from that stupid conversation with your best friend and to top it off you say something so insensitive! You know how hard I'm finding it, dealing with life after the war with no family. How many conversations we've had about growing up without them, how you know I miss them all the time. You even sat with me at the Mirror of Erised the other week just so I could see them again!"

"I know, Harry! I know, that was such a fucking awful thing to say and I didn't mean it, I was angry, it slipped out..." Draco replied, desperate to end this painful conversation